Bottle Feeding = Bad Mother ?
I am bottle-feeding Erin.
What judgements have you made about me? Maybe you haven’t made any, are you bottle-feeding too? Or maybe you think I am a bad mother. Selfish. Don’t love my baby. More interested in being able to drink and eat what I want. Too lazy to get up in the night to do all the feeds.
Actually I have Crohn’s and the medication I am on would actually harm Erin if I breastfed her.
Why do I feel the need to defend myself every time someone mentions feeding? Surely it is each mother’s decision.
Now don’t be mistaken, I am not ‘against’ breastfeeding. I do not look on in disgust when I see a mother breastfeeding her baby, just as I don’t tut and look down on someone preparing their baby’s bottle.
I want to say ‘IT’S OK TO BOTTLE-FEED’, you don’t need to feel ashamed, you should not be spending a big part of your pregnancy worrying about breastfeeding or more to the point worrying what others will think of you if you don’t breastfeed. You have made, or will make a decision that is based on YOU, YOUR baby, and YOUR family, and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty, whatever decision you make.
I have a couple of friends who are pregnant at the moment, and their main concern is not about the labour and birth, not about the prospect of becoming a mother, it is always about breastfeeding and the fact they are feeling pressured by midwives, health visitors and the media.
Please enough is enough, ‘breast is best’ but only if Mum is confident and happy to do it. After all do you not also tell us that “A happy mummy = A happy baby”.
Comments Welcome!
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Little Mummy-
I applaud you! I live in the States and the rhetoric and brainwashing is just as bad here if not worse. I had postpartum depression because of my inability to breastfeed. The fact that I didn’t breastfeed has lead to the destruction of my relationship with my inlaws! What other point in our history could someone say that? Its a long story so I won’t bore you. I just wanted to say thank you for having the cajones to stand up and say this! We need more women like you. I also am not against breastfeeing in any way but just don’t tell me I’m a bad mother for not doing so.
Dallas, TX
That’s terrible, and it’s this side of the ‘breast is best’ campaign that is ignored, the media and professionals have gone too far on this issue.
Well, to be honest, I’ve never felt pushed to breast feed. I know that the hospital recommend that those not intending to breast feed at least attend a session to get information. I think that’s fair enough, nobody had to go. But because I intended to give it a go anyway, nothing around breast feeding got mentioned. I had to push to get more info because I didn’t feel confident enough, so for me, they could have been a bit more proactive. In fact, in the postnatal ward, one woman pushed the bottle on another one to get the baby quiet so she could sleep.
So you get it that way too. Especially in places where it’s normal not to breast feed.
Erica, in your case people were maybe ignorant and as a result insensitive. I don’t think anyone would push breast feeding on you if due to medication you can’t. At least I can’t imagine this to be the case. I do think though it’s good to inform people about the benefits of breast feeding so they can make up their minds. I work in a poor area of Glasgow, and basically nobody breast feeds. It’s an indicator of poverty, nothing to do with us middle class mums making an informed decision or having real reasons not to breast feed. It’s communities like the one I work in that would benefit from a strong breast is best message, and that’s why it’s there. Not to send you or anyone else on a guilt trip, but to break the cycle of poverty (amongst other initiatives of course).
Sorry this is long, I should really write a post about this on my own blog…
I do see where you’re coming from cartside, but for many that message does go to far, often excluding information on bottle feeding completely.
The ‘strong’ message also encourages a ‘holier than thou’ attitide amongst breastfeeders which I feel is unhealthy.