My dad left when I was two, he came back into my life when I was eighteen. No regrets. We’ve made our peace. He’s making the effort now and that’s what counts, I honestly believe that it’s easier to forgive and forget than create negative energy and hold a grudge. I love and respect him for who he is even if I can’t for some of his earlier choices.
The truth is that while I was actually growing up I barely noticed his absence and that’s the biggest compliment I can give my Mum. She was only eighteen when she had me and was on her own with me and my brother pretty shortly after. She made mistakes, don’t we all. She walked a difficult road and her mistakes were mere trips along the way, because for 99% of the time she was everything you’d want your single parent to be, strong, reliable and loving.
The worst bit about not having a Dad was being poor. I remember being really poor and unfortunately my Mum on her own couldn’t make up a decent household income even if she could provide the love of two parents. We were the kids with the rubbish trainers, the uncool jackets and Santa only brought second hand toys in our house. It seems rather petty as I type it now but when you’re a kid it’s important, really important. Of course that’s just the things I remember, I’m sure behind the scenes there were times when putting a meal on the table was a struggle. Nevertheless a meal there would always be, not too mention lots and lots of happy times along the way.
My mum, she did her best and her best was good enough – something I’ve only fully been able to appreciate since becoming a parent myself.
‘Dads’, I’ve had a few none of them really lived up to the title, and by the time a decent one came along I had dad fatigue.
If I’d had a Dad growing up I’d have wanted him to be like my husband, generous, caring, fun, strong and reliable. A proper family man, a provider and someone you can count on to just be there. A sense of humour may have been all that was lacking in one.
As an adult though I’m pretty happy with the Dad I’ve got. He’s there if I need him, he calls me fortnightly and doesn’t interfere too much. He supports my entrepreneurial ambitions and is a good sounding board for my ideas as he’s a businessman himself.
I guess all’s well that ends well