Guest post by Keris

For me, one of the many small joys of pregnancy was the excuse to buy more books! I wanted, I needed, all the information I could get. After asking for recommendations, scouring the shops and reading five-star reviews on Amazon, I had quite a library. Here are the five books I couldn?t have done without.

1: The Pregnant Woman?s Comfort Book

My copy is literally falling apart, I referred to it so many times. It’s about self-nurturing and may be a bit too touchy-feely for some, but I found it incredibly useful.

2: Babies for Beginners

Roni Jay establishes the absolute basics of babycare – keep the baby alive at all costs, and try to stop it getting too hungry. Pretty much everything else is either completely unnecessary or a luxury. It was a total revelation in those early post-birth weeks when I was utterly neurotic about everything.

3: The Baby Whisperer

Roni Jay aside, I generally don?t put much stock in baby ?experts? or training methods (even if I thought it was possible to ?train? a new baby, I?m not sure I would want to do it), but The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau is very good. There?s quite a selection of Baby Whisperer books now, but all you really need to know is the E.A.S.Y. method for creating a structured ? but far from rigid ? routine that really does work like a charm.

4: Mother Shock

During my second pregnancy, I found that I wanted to read a different kind of book. I didn?t want manuals, I wanted memoirs. In this collection of essays, Buchanan examines her experience of (mostly) the first year of motherhood, comparing the transition with the culture shock experienced when you move to another country. Buchanan admits things in writing that I barely even admitted to myself in my head. Comforting.

5: Waiting for Birdy

Catherine Newman’s memoir is not only one of the best parenting books I?ve ever read, it?s one of my favourite books of all time. Catherine articulates every single thing I?ve ever felt about motherhood. How joyful it is. How painful it is. How everything ? everything ? is bittersweet. It made me cry. It made me laugh. And sometimes it made me laugh until I cried.

Have your own baby book recommendations? Share them in the comments below.

The books and magazines would have you believe that you need everything. I’ll let you into a little secret, you don’t need all that stuff, but what you DO need you need A LOT of, especially in the newborn phase.

I’m going to attempt an inventory of everything I actually used during pregnancy, birth and the first three months.

Pregnancy

Maternity Jeans and/or Dungarees

I lived and [almost] birthed in my dungarees, well, until they got too small at eight and a half months. They did see me through a good six months though and were well worth the money (I got them from H&M by the way).

Going Out Top

An evening top, I found wrap-around style to be the most flattering.

Smart Casual Top

I had a long-sleeved one that I loved.

Other Clothes

The clothes above were my only specifically maternity wear. The following items were just in a larger size and therefore cheaper.

Jogging Bottoms (for slogging not jogging!)
T-shirts (aka tents)
Big Knickers (nobody said pregnancy was pretty, oh hang on, yes they do, in those b***dy magazines…oh well, THEY LIE)
Flat Sandals/Flip Flops

Maternity Pillow

This became a ‘must-have’ item after the six month mark, however, it does not need to be fancy, a simple wedge of foam is all that is required.

In Hospital

For me;

Pyjamas – Huge size

Knickers – Huge size

Sanitary Pads – Huge size (are you noticing the pattern?)

Bra + Breast Pads – Nursing or maternity bra for extra support (think: sore boobs)

Best Quality Wash Products – You will be glad!

MP3 Player – Was my saviour when I was kept in, on and off for the final week

Book/Magazine – See above + it might be some time before you read again

Toiletries

Tracksuit or similar for going home, don’t bother taking anything non-stretchy, too sore, too depressing

Food – Favourite snacks, the state of hospital food is well documented

For baby;

Nappies – Allowing 8 per day is sensible

Vests – 2 for each day in hospital

Sleepsuits/Babygro’s – Allow 3/4 for every 24 hour period (especially for first-time mums who are picky over minor spillages)

Blanket – 1, because it’s nice to have your own.

Cotton Wool – For nappie-changing

Cardigan – 1, just in case it’s cold

Complete outfit and jacket – For coming home, don’t forget socks or bootees

The First 3 Months

If bottlefeeding (couldn’t tell you for breastfeeding, although I know you need breasts and a bit of willpower as a minimum!);

Bottles – 6 or more, I found 9 the optimum.

Sterilizer – Microwaveable version is adequate

Bottle Warmer – We used it, but not for long.

A Cot and Bedding

A Changing Mat/Station – plus nappy changing paraphernalia

Some clothes, but lots of vests and sleepsuits

A Few Toys – A jingly ball that cost a pound was the favourite here

Dummies – If you plan to use them

A Car Seat

A Pram/Buggy

And I think that’s it..

Can anyone think of anythingelse, we’re just talking the bare minimum here…

Socially recognised mothering standards eh? Yeah, you know, all that stuff that as a mother you are expected to do and the unsaid standards you are expected to keep [at all times].

1. One should work until they drop (literally) before beginning maternity leave, you should be so tired you can barely stand up and proceed to give birth the very next day. You should brag to other mothers about said martyrdom.

2. One should have a natural birth which should involve rose petals, water and classical music. Screaming, pain, gore, and pain relief should definitely not feature. One should ALWAYS brag though, if they had a difficult birth and much pain was endured (without pain relief).

3. One should breastfeed their newborn cherub the moment it exits the birth canal, even if they are utterly exhausted and all they want is a nice warm shower. Under no cicumstances should you either accept or ask for the ‘F’ word. (formula)

4. If one has had a Caesarean (which must never be elective) one must bounce right out of bed after only a few hours and proceed with normal daily life as if no major surgery has been undertaken, one must always listen to the nurses when they say you CAN get out of bed, and always ingnore one’s inner voice telling them they are about to pass out.

5. Once home with the newborn one should take to mothering with gusto and confidence, receiving visitors, whilst simultaneously breastfeeding, writing thank you cards for copious amounts of gifts and cooking homemade suppers.

6. One should resume normal sexual activity, preferably, within the week.

7. One should ‘find’ her figure and return to the size 10 skinny jeans within the fortnight. One should ALWAYS brag to her not-so-fortunate friends.

8. One’s beautiful bouncing baby should be ‘sleeping through’ any time before six weeks to qualify for bragging rights.

Just a bit of fun, but a bit of truth too, please add your own!

When it comes to pregnancy, birth and therafter everyone has some piece of advice for you. Here are the pick of the (large!) bunch I was given.

1. Buy more vests and babygro’s than you think you’ll need.

2. Take baggy pyjamas and big knickers to hospital, especially if it’s a c-section.

3. If bottle-feeding, have at least 6 bottles, preferably nine.

4. Buy a microwave sterilizer, they can’t break.

5. The first few months will fly by, make the most of it.

6. Don’t be too proud to accept hand-me-downs.

and the stuff that nobody told me, but I wish they had…

1. Take more nappies and babygros and vests to hospital than you think you will need.

2. You never get time to scrapbook the pictures, so don’t start

Photo by flickr user o-mer

Invest in a maternity pillow, particularly if you want to get any sleep over the coming months. They come in a range of shapes and sizes, to be honest I got one off eBay for a fiver, I just removed the cover gave it a good wash and it did me fine.

Here is a similar one available online at Amazon;

Baby Name Selector

Caitlin (girl)

Evan (boy)

Joseph (boy)

Oona (girl)

Sven (boy)

I was really disappointed with the lack of decent maternity clothes (unless you spend a fortune) on the high street when I was pregnant.

So here’s my best of the worst run-down.

Dorothy Perkins – Good for jeans and casual tops, reasonably priced too.

Topshop – Small range, but they do have some ‘night-out’ outfits, but personally I thought they were a bit plain and everything was black.

Next – Has a good-sized range, similar in style to the rest of their ‘non-maternity’ clothes.

H & M – Wide variety of hit or miss pieces…….however I found one huge hit which proved to be invaluable……….denim dungarees £29.99, you may laugh now, but wait until your 8 and a half months pregnant and nothing fits (except your husbands clothes….if your lucky!).

New Look – Launched a range in April 2006. The range will have a variety of pieces priced from ?5 – ?28.

As far as I found the following shops had no range at all tut tut.

Gap, Bay Trading, River Island..shame on you all!!

(However don’t overlook them completely as there were a lot of non-maternity styles that were versatile enough to wear, my favourites were gypsy skirts in just a size larger and stretchy tops)

Baby Name Selector

Caelia (girl)

Egan (boy)

Isaac (boy)

Reyna (girl)

Umar (girl)

You may be wondering about stretch marks? Accept that depending on your genes (and apparently whether your Mum had them or not) you may or may not get them regardless of how many creams you use (I used Palmer’s cocoa butter formula by the way). If anyone knows any differently please please let me know and we can help the rest of the female population with this horrible horrible disease!

Baby Name Selector

Akili (girl)

Diana (girl)

Grear (girl)

Kahil (boy)

Oliver (boy)

How long were you in hospital?

Great Nan (mother of 3)

Well, I wasn’t in hospital but I had to stay in bed for nine days (with a natural birth) and I was allowed up on the tenth day.

Nan (mother of 4)

Seven days was standard practise in my day although by the time I had my last child I was allowed home much quicker.

Mum (mother of 2)

10 days after a caesarean was standard practise.

Me (mother of 1)

I had Erin by caesarean and left hospital after 36 hours. I can’t believe the difference between my time in hospital and Mum’s. Well seen we live at a faster pace these day – 10 days bed rest for Great Nan!

Start tracking history now….

Start a Blog

You can get a free blog at www.blogger.com. This is a great way to post photos with comments and give your child something to look back and read. If you want to go one step further why not purchase your baby their own domain name. Domain names cost around £15-£20, less depending on what you choose. Dave can build you a basic blog format at reasonable prices.

Start a Scrapbook

Not technologically minded? Start a scrapbook, include your thoughts, photos of you pregnant and scan photos.

Baby Name Selector

Aidan (girl)

Babar (boy)

Darcy (boy)

Gracia (girl)

Joel (boy)

So you have your baby bible and know exactly what the script is….but what about your partner?

We all know that when it comes to this stuff most men don’t have a clue, most will try their best, but ultimately fail miserably to understand your cravings for coal or worse still those red bricks they build with (ask me about that story sometime!) your highs and lows or why you feel so tired even though you haven’t done anything.

Don’t Panic

I have the answer. I worked for me, it can work for you too!

It’s very simple.

You have your bible, he needs his.

My suggestion is not only very infornative but absolutely hysterical. I know because I read it – for research purposes only of course!

The Blokes Guide to Pregnancy by Jon Smith

Buy it now, you won’t regret it. Alex says “It was absolutely hysteical, it helped a lot. It’s like the author has been your mate for years”.

Baby Name Selector

Aditi (girl)

Indian name meaning ‘abundant creative power’

Andrew (boy)

Name of the patron saint of Scotland

Davina (girl)

From the Hebrew (beloved)

Garvey (boy)

Gaelic for ‘peace through victory’

Kiara (girl)