Seventeen years! Seventeen years I’ve been doing this and I can’t cope anymore, it’s ok to laugh about it, but really it’s not funny anymore. I’m finding myself waking up in the morning dreading what lays ahead, not because of the content of my day, I’ve filled my days with things I enjoy, but because of the ball and chain.

In the words of Michael Jackson I need to make a change, and it isn’t going to be easy. In fact the prospect positively frightens me, but I need to do it. I can’t face a life of being tied down like this. I need to go with ‘my flow’ I don’t want to feel like I can’t do X because it’s not on my list. I’ve been making and following lists since I was nine years old and I just can’t do it anymore, I think it’s having a really negative impact on my life and it’s time to kick the habit.

Somehow I don’t think it’s going to be easy, I think my list making is more than just a habit. Smoking was a habit, I went cold turkey and gave that up in an instant when something important came along, it was just a habit. My list making verges on obsession, and dare I mention the three letter abbreviation that will make you all think I’m at best completely crackers (OCD). It’s serious my friends, I won’t lie to you. I’ve relied on my lists for so long now I don’t know how to live without them. How will I know what to do? I actually think I’ve lost the inbuilt thing that makes you do things everyday, I just get up, get dressed and look at my list.

So today is my first day ‘off list’, I don’t know if I’ll last, I’m trying to go cold turkey and hope that works, if not, I’ll need to try and wean myself off.

Anyonelse suffer from OCLMD (obsessive compulsive list making disorder)? Are you ruled by ‘the list’?