We’re hearing it all the time in the media, banning schools sports days, discouraging competition, and here Craig tells of a television programme exploring the concept of not being graded at school.

My thoughts today – when did competition become the evil enemy?

I must admit I am quite competitive, I like to compete, and, yes I like to win (my husband has likened me to Monica in the Friends episode where she plays table tennis!). If I lose I feel a strong force inside me to improve and do better. I think this is a good thing, it means that I am constantly striving to do better, whether it’s winning a promotion or winning at Monopoly (Alex I WILL win next time).

When I was younger, my brother and I would always compete, board games, obstacle courses, quizzes. It was fun, sometimes he would win, sometimes I would win. There were a few occasions where neither of us would win. We used to like drawing or painting pictures, we would spend a long time carefully colouring in, or drawing the perfect house only for our judge (mum) to announce a draw Were we satisfied? No, we felt robbed, we would beg her to choose someone, but like most parents they don’t like to choose between their kids. The moral of the story here is that kids like competition, without it they don’t know where they are, if you don’t know how good you are how will you have the motivation to improve?

As parents are we providing too much of a ‘cushy’ existence as Craig says. In my opinion yes we are. We never want to upset our kids, we are reluctant to show any disappointment in case we knock their fragile self esteems. The truth is that kids aren’t that fragile they are pretty robust and receiving a fair and honest assesment of their achievements and failures (there I said it) is what they deserve and respect.

It’s like the idea that if you never have anything bad happen how will you be appreciative or even recognise when things are good? I want Erin to know in her heart that when I praise something I mean it, and, when my reaction is a bit less enthusiastic I hope that she will strive to do better.

Of course you have to tailor your reactions to each child, a ‘B’ grade might be a real achievement for one kid, or a bit of an underachievement for another. I don’t expect perfection, each parent knows their own kids and their strengths and weaknesses and should praise accordingly.

What do you think about competition for kids? Do you encourage it?

Photo by flickr user DrMoores