To be honest, when I saw this was the next one on the list, I wasn’t sure whether to do it or not. I’ve never really meditated before and wouldn’t really know what to do, so I decided to simply take some time out to relax, with a view of ‘taking it from there’.

You may have noticed that I have blogged less this week, I stole some blog time to relax and read a book. I spent a few hours over the course of the week laying down quietly in the bedroom just reading, and (ahem) falling asleep. I’m not sure if it was down to this extra ‘time out’, but I have been feeling particularly relaxed and positive even with a constantly niggling absess. I also enjoyed more quality play time with Erin and an increasing sense of ‘being in the moment’ (as opposed to treating every day like a race).

I definitely intend on keeping this type of relaxation up, it seems to be having a positive effect on more than one area of my life, and I think it is time worth sacrificing as I’m definitely getting more done in the remaining time as a result.

Next weeks’ habit: Get Organized - this will be a two week habit as I’m away for a long weekend (yay)

Photo by flickr user frogarythm

To say that this weeks habit was a disaster is…well….an understatement. Why do you think I haven’t released any details of my actual food intake (hee hee). I have the minor excuse of suffering a little with the old crohns, which always knocks my regular eating habit, but I can’t lay all the blame there…

I’ve decided that trying to overhaul my whole eating pattern is just too much to ask, after all, I am a busy parent. I have decided to break this habit down into stages, the first step being to overhaul breakfast. From now on breakfast will consist of a variety of the following;

Fresh juice and/or coffee
Melba Toast with Philadelphia or
Granary Toast with butter/marmalade or
Rice Krispies

I hope that by starting with breakfast I can move onto better habits at other meals too, we shall see.

Next weeks’ habit: Meditate Daily

Photo by flickr user awrose

This post is very late due to the busy weekend I had, the script is, basically I probably did quite a bit of exercise, wii, the beach etc… however I didn’t note it down and I didn’t intentionally set aside time for exercise (tut, tut)

I’m going to skip this week and begin the next habit on Sunday, which will be…..eating healthy.

Pick your own habit from Zen Habits 52 Tips for Happiness and Productivity

This weeks challenge was to lose weight, or more accurately try and eat more healthily and do more exercise which would result in weight loss. I have kept a diary of my meals, calorie intake and exercise to see exactly where I can improve.

Monday

Breakfast: 1 slice wholemeal toast & butter, coffee

Lunch: 5 cocktail sausage rolls, carrot sticks, cucumber sticks, 3 strawberries, 5 walnuts, glass of OJ

Snack: 1 donut, 2 cocktail sausage rolls, coffee

Dinner: Pork escalope wrapped in parma ham (baked), low fat creamy veg (baby corn, sugar snaps, carrots with tbsp creme fraiche warmed through), glass of OJ

Supper: 1 donut, coffee

Calorie Count: 1826

Exercise: None

This was a mixed day. I switched back from sugar to sweetner in my coffee and ate more vegetables than usual. Monday is our shopping day so we usually have a treat, hence the donuts.

Tuesday

Breakfast: Rice Krispies, Coffee

Lunch: Small cheeseburger, small fries, 2 mozzarella bites, small irn bru

Dinner: 6 cocktail sausage rolls, glass of OJ

Supper: Club sandwich (chicken, bacon, lettuce, no mayo), carrot sticks, coffee

Calorie Count: 2059

Exercise: 20 minute walk

Ouch (have you seen that calorie count!) Today was so bad I actually thought about ditching this weeks challenge, however, I’ve decided to stick with it, it’s such an eye opener!! Definitely going to try harder tomorrow.

Wednesday

Breakfast: Rice Krispies, Coffee

Lunch: Slice wholemeal bread, 1 slice of ham, 2 cocktail sausage rolls, carrot sticks, glass orange squash

Snack: 2 french fancies, coffee

Dinner: 3 chicken wings, 4 cocktail sausage rolls, glass of OJ

Supper: Coffee

Calorie Count: 1790

Exercise: 30 minute walk, 1hr Wii Tennis

Not a great day, I’m glad the sausage rolls are finished!

Thursday

Breakfast: 1 slice wholemeal toast, coffee

Lunch: Cheese & onion toastie, glass of OJ

Snack: Crisps, squash

Tea: Steak & onion ciabatta, side salad, glass of OJ

Supper: Coffee

Calorie Count: 1486

Exercise: 40 mins Wii Tennis

Today was quite good calorie wise I think, but I need to eat more fruit and veg.

Friday

Breakfast:Rice krispies, coffee

Lunch: Grilled chicken breast, roast potatoes, leeks and red onion with parmesan, glass of OJ

Snack: Glass of water

Dinner: 1 slice peanut butter on wholemeal bread, coffee

Supper: Rice krispies, coffee

Calorie Count: 1068

Exercise: 20 mins Wii Tennis

Today was quite good but I think I should have eaten a bit more, maybe some fruit would have been good.

Saturday

Breakfast: Sausage on a roll, coffee

Lunch: Egg fried rice with spring onion, squash

Dinner: Quiche, large salad, glass of squash

Supper: Coffee, 4 chocolates

Calorie Count:1524

Exercise: 15 minute walk, 30 minutes Wii Tennis

Today was ok, I think I need to find some fruit that I like though.

Next weeks’ habit: Exercise

This weeks’ habit was patience, in particular being a patient parent. Erin is on the verge of starting to push the boundaries, which I’m sure in turn will start to ‘test’ my patience, at the moment though I don’t find myself losing my patience very often.

My plan for dealing with the pushing the boundary phase is to be firm but fair, pick my battles, and treat tantrums with the move the furniture place them in the middle of the room stand back and wait for it to finish rule. If I’m out then it will be one warning and then out of the shop (or wherever) to somewhere I can use aforementioned approach. I’ll let you know if it works…

My problem areas now when it comes to patience, is wanting everything to happen now. This week I’ve tried to relax and accept that things will happen, but it can’t all happen right now and I need to go with the flow, safe in the knowledge that in general we are heading in the right direction.

This week hasn’t been the greatest week for testing this habit overall as nothing has really happened, I’ve been quite relaxed and even went on a girly overnighter!

My Verdict: I’m definitely going to try and be a little more laid back in general, and I think being a patient parent is a virtuous aspiration too.

Next Weeks’ Habit: Lose Weight (not quite a habit but worth pursuing if you need to, I’d like to slim down a little)

I’ve decided to test a different habit each week to see what sticks and what can improve my life. Why write about? Well, I’m a parent and want to test these habits to see if they work for me, if they do, you may want to try the new habit yourself. Some habits may be really beneficial for parents whereas others will flop for one reason or another.

The first week’s habit was getting up early, I’ve tried this habit before and it doesn’t really work. The point is that you get up earlier in a bid to get more done, if I get up earlier, Erin wakes earlier, and the only achievement is less shut eye for me.

Last week’s habit was doing less and slowing down. This is great timing for this habit, I’ve been ill due to being run down and stressing the little things. I’m going to really make the effort this week and log my findings.

By the way, I’m taking the habits from Zen Habits Handbook for Life. As you can see I have combined numbers two and three for this weeks’ challenge.

How did I do?

Considering I was still doing my part time job, not too bad. I have finished that job now and don’t intend to take on anythingelse for a while. I will be focussing my time on parenting, studying (open learning maths course) and a new project (of course I’ll still be blogging here as well). Anyway back to the reflection, so yeah, I think I did as well as possible. I did less cleaning and adhoc tasks that could wait while I focussed on getting the work done, which meant I also had more play time with Erin.

This is a habit I will be trying to keep, it’s well documented how busy parents are but I am going to try and only take on as much as I can handle instead of ‘trying to do it all’. I also want to try and go for gentle walks in the evening with my family to encourage some down time.

My Verdict: Doing Less and Slowing Down can benefit a parent. Give this one a try.

Next Week’s Habit: Patience (especially when parenting!)

Photo by flickr user MotherPie

You may think these terms are only suitable for the workplace, but think about it for a moment.

If our home is our business, and we are the Managing Director, we either choose to micro-manage or delegate every day.

Micro-Managing

The micro-manager finds it difficult to relinquish control. When they occasionally delegate tasks they do so one by one, with specific instructions and will check back regularly to make sure the task is being performed to their high standards - if not, they may choose to do the task themselves, all-the-while muttering martyr-esque comments….

The pros of being a micro-manager

The job gets done exactly how you want it to get done.

The cons of being a micro-manager

Stress - It takes time to issue tasks one by one and check up regularly

Your kids/partner will feel that they can’t be trusted just to do the job.

You may end up with a complete boycott until you lower your exacting standards!!

Complete Delegation

The complete delgator will delegate tasks to the most appropriate person once, with instructions, and will leave that person to fulfill the task the way they see fit.

The pros of being a complete delegator

Each task needs only be delegated once, thus saving time.

Less stress, as you relax your standards and know that everything will get done, and you don’t have to do it all.

Your family will be more eager to help when they can do it on their own terms.

The cons of being a complete delegator

Tasks may not be completed the way you would do it.

Are you a micro-manger or a complete delegator?

(I’m an ex micro-manager seeing the light and advantages of being a complete delegator!)

Inspiration for this group of articles (listed below) comes from Jack Canfield’s bestseller - How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I am taking the principles from the book and applying them to life as a parent.

Most of the time we get it right, inevitably there are times when we get it wrong. We lose our patience prematurely, fail to check all the facts, or simply make an error of judgement. How can we learn from those times and move on with minimal guilt?

1. Acknowledge you try your best

As parents we set ourselves high standards, and punish ourselves when we fail to reach the giddy heights of perfection. Acknowledging that you try your best helps keep the evil monster, guilt, at bay.

2. Acknowledge that your minor mistakes won’t ruin your kids’ life

Over-doing the discipline one time, punishing the wrong sibling, or making one bad call isn’t going to result in your kid hating you forever or going off the rails. In fact, it probably does them good to see us get it wrong and experience a little injustice, it won’t be the only time they experience it in life.

3. Learn from the experience

What did I do wrong, what can I do better next time.

5. Say sorry

Apologise if you made a mistake or got it wrong. Getting something wrong and saying sorry will teach our kids more than if we never made a mistake at all. Don’t try to hide the fact you got it wrong, I’m guilty of this sometimes, your kids will know that you got it wrong or over-reacted and will simply imitate you when they get it wrong.

6. Remind yourself that you are a good parent

Remember that most of the time you are a great parent, who makes good decisions.

How do you handle it when you get it wrong?

Other Articles in the Series:

Compartmentalizing Time
Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting
Aim High
Get Organised
Be One Step Ahead
An Hour of Powerful Parenting
How To Ask For Help
(This post is the final part)

Inspiration for this group of articles (listed below) comes from Jack Canfield’s bestseller - How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I am taking the principles from the book and applying them to life as a parent.

The inspiration for this particular post was based on the book’s take on how to ask for things in general, as I’m focussing on the principles from a parent’s perspective it was easy to come up with what we need to ask for most - help.

When you’re a couple you look after yourself, and do your fair share (hopefully) of the housework. When you become a parent there’s another person to look after, sometimes one person reduces work commitments and before you know it your in a muddle over responsibilities, chores, and who’s earning the (most) income. Inevitably friction ensues and it takes some months to find your rhythm as a family. Well, that’s how it has played out for us anyway.

I have found myself needing to ask for help much more often, help from my husband, help from family and occasionally help from friends, not easy for someone who is fiercely independant.

The book provides some great pointers on how to ask for things, I’ve tailored them a little to suit us parents;

1. Ask with a positive expectation

If you are going to ask you may as well not be too apologetic for it. I’m pretty bad at this, I always feel guilty for asking, especially if it’s family or friends, I feel like I should be able to manage it all myself, of course it’s not possible.

2. Ask someone who you think can say “yes”

For example you may already know that one set of family members are busy at the weekend and quiet in the week, and the other side of the family are vice versa. Tailor your babysitting requests to fit with other people’s lifestyles where possible, you’re more likely to get a yes.

3. Be clear and specific

I used to feel that I was nagging my husband all the time to help with housework, he would counter by saying that he was helping. The problem was that I was being too vague with what I wanted him to do and the kind of help I needed. He was always saying that he was doing what was asked, which he was. When I asked him to take the rubbish to the bin he did, two days later, if I asked him to do some cleaning he would wash the dishes. Now I say things like “please take the rubbish out tonight before bed” and “please could you clean the floor in the kitchen, do the dishes and put a laundry in”. I ask for exactly what I want and if need be when I would like it done by, and 99% of the time I get it. I’m happy because I’m receiving help and the house is tidy, he’s happy because he isn’t being nagged at. Simple.

Feel free to add your own tips for asking for help…

Other Articles in the Series:

Compartmentalizing Time
Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting
Aim High
Get Organised
Be One Step Ahead
An Hour Of Powerful Parenting

Inspiration for this group of articles (listed below) comes from Jack Canfield’s bestseller - How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I am taking the principles from the book and applying them to life as a parent.

I find that I function much better when I’m a step ahead, and apparently it’s not just me, one of the most powerful tools of high achievers is planning their day the night before. Here is how I am currently *trying* to stay one step ahead;

Organising My Day The Night Before

In fact I plan about a week in advance and then tweak things as I go along.

Meal Planning

I have meal planned for as long as I can remember. I note down all the nice recipes and dinner ideas I see in my diary - one for each weekday, on the weekends we have ‘free’ meals which we choose and buy produce for on the day.

I order the week’s food online on a friday and it arrives on a monday morning. I have been using this system for several years and I find it’s definitely the most efficient for us.

Food

Most people herald batch cooking as a great way to stay ahead but I’m pretty fussy and like to eat fresh food. I find that if I have all the ingredients on hand this isn’t a problem. In general we eat simple meals like marinated grilled meat with pasta or salad, pasta bolognese, or chicken skewers with salad. Dinner rarely takes more than 20 minutes to prepare.

Erin eats what we eat wherever possible, but I have some frozen homemade alternatives if we’re having something she can’t eat.

Birthdays & Christmas

I usually do my christmas shopping in Novemeber so we can do crafts and christmassy things during December. I start thinking about and buying birthday gifts about three or four weeks in advance so there’s no last minute rush.

What are your tips for staying one step ahead?

Other Articles in the Series:

Compartmentalizing Time
Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting
Aim High
Get Organised