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Having worked as a nursery assistant for a brief spell before having Erin, I have been fortunate to see ‘the other side’ of the care provided. Don’t panic, I have no horror stories, if you choose with your instinct you are 99.99% likely to choose an excellent nursery with caring staff. Your nursery will accomodate you as much as possible, here’s a few tips for how you can help them.

1. Do not send your child with any other clothing than that you are happy to get marked

It’s astounding the amount of parents that will send children in beautiful outfits only to have them ruined. Nursery is a messy business, play-dough, paint, glue, sand. Consider their attire carefully, it should be comfortable to sit, run, and play in, and it should be fine to get messed up. Messy cloths is a sign they have had a lot of activities and probably plenty fun too.

2. Watch the weather

Ensure your child has the appropriate gear for all weathers ie in summer, a hat, suncream, a t-shirt. In winter, a hat, gloves, a heavier coat or fleece.

3. Tagging

Tag everything you don’t want to lose, if it’s not tagged and it gets lost, that’s your fault.

4. Losses

Accept that from time to time there will be minor losses, ie the odd tupperware tub. Consider how important this is in the grand scheme of things before complaining.

5. Be efficient when replacing items

When a member of staff request supplies ie nappies, toothpaste, wipes etc be efficient in taking them in. When you don’t supply them they have to use someonelse’s or dip into their own stores, also, every moment they spend chasing you up for such items is one less moment caring directly for your child. Think about it.

6. Treat staff with respect

Treat staff with respect, it’s a low paid and very tiring job, be appreciative, most put their heart and soul into looking after your children so you can work or take a break. Be pleasant, don’t speak down to them and encourage your child to say thank you and goodbye. Happy staff mean happy kids.

7. Food

Provide your child with healthy food that they enjoy. Remember giving them too many crisps, chocolate and biscuits will not be a good example to the other children. So do your best to supply chopped fruit and other healthy alternatives.

8. Don’t be late

For every minute you are late you are keeping staff from their homes. Don’t be selfish by taking the service for granted. On the odd occasion you are late, staff will be more accomodating, if it’s not a regular occurence.

9. Security

It’s your responsibility to keep the nursery secure too. Always close gates, and report any damage so that it can be fixed. Speak to the manager if you notice anything you aren’t happy about.

10. Bribery (!)

A small box of chocolates at christmas time is a nice way to show that you appreciate the staff at your nursery

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I’m pretty lucky, Erin asks for nothing more than the odd biscuit or grape at the moment. In a few years, it will be a completely different story, “mum, can I have” will be the war cry. The summer holidays will be yet another financial event to be budgeted for.

In the past (dim, and very distant)when we’ve gone abroad I’ve tended to budget by the day. For example I work out a daily budget, multiply it by the amount of days and I know that’s how much spending money to take. Each day I will ‘pay’ myself the daily amount, leftovers are carried over to the following day. Money remaining at the end of the holiday is spent on a special treat, souvenirs for family and ourselves.

I think if I had a few kids of spending age I would be inclined to use a similar system, perhaps worked on a weekly basis instead. With teenagers you could give them the budget and let them learn to budget themselves.

Do you budget for summer? If so, what system do you use?

Photo by flickr user Rafa from Brazil

A while back I wrote an article about keeping costs low as a new mum, it’s time to update that article with ideas suitable for toddlers and the parents of.

Food

Milk

We moved from powder milk to full fat milk as soon as Erin was 12 months (recommended earliest age). Not only is the carton milk cheaper it’s also ready made - our mornings became that little bit smoother as a result.

Breakfast

I buy weetabix in bulk packets, for non weetabix days we have granary toast. These options are inexpensive and healthy.

Lunch

I usually provide a ‘picky plate’. My time working at a nursery taught me that this was one of the most effective ways to get children to eat a variety of well balanced food. I usually serve a bread product ie a sandwich, bread & jam or pitta. A meat product, usually mini sausages, ham or chicken bites. Fruit & vegetables, whatever I have, which is usually baby tomatoes, cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, strawberries and grapes.

Snacks

Fruit, biscuit, or occasionally a few crisps.

Dinner

A mini version of whatever we are having.

The point I’m making is that by keeping it simple and within what you already purchase it’s cheap and efficient to feed your toddler healthy food.

Toys

Most of the toys in our home have been christmas or birthday gifts. When I do buy something it’s usually a toy I know will last a long time and be used in different ways ie the kitchen we recently splurged on.

I know that over time the kitchen will be a cafe, a laundrette, a fast food outlet and probably much more than even I can think of. You can’t go wrong with kitchens, tool benches, cleaning sets and doll related stuff, they are perfect for the 1-5 year olds.

Clothes

Buy staples items like vests, pyjamas and socks cheaply from supermarkets or low cost shops. Accept hand-me-downs as ‘playing clothes’. This leaves nearly your whole clothing budget to spend on the main clothing items.

I buy seasonally, usually one season ahead, this way Erin doesn’t become desperate for things and I can take my time and find the nicest clothes and sometimes some good deals too. Although we never seem to have enough socks??

Entertainment

Mix paid entertainment with free stuff. Our freebie entertainment includes the library, museums, the park, feeding the ducks, and the petting farm. Our paid days out are usually swimming and soft play. Save the most expensive days out for special occasions ie the zoo.

Please jump in with your own ideas, just click on the comments button below if your new to this blog thing.

The books and magazines would have you believe that you need everything. I’ll let you into a little secret, you don’t need all that stuff, but what you DO need you need A LOT of, especially in the newborn phase.

I’m going to attempt an inventory of everything I actually used during pregnancy, birth and the first three months.

Pregnancy

Maternity Jeans and/or Dungarees

I lived and [almost] birthed in my dungarees, well, until they got too small at eight and a half months. They did see me through a good six months though and were well worth the money (I got them from H&M by the way).

Going Out Top

An evening top, I found wrap-around style to be the most flattering.

Smart Casual Top

I had a long-sleeved one that I loved.

Other Clothes

The clothes above were my only specifically maternity wear. The following items were just in a larger size and therefore cheaper.

Jogging Bottoms (for slogging not jogging!)
T-shirts (aka tents)
Big Knickers (nobody said pregnancy was pretty, oh hang on, yes they do, in those b***dy magazines…oh well, THEY LIE)
Flat Sandals/Flip Flops

Maternity Pillow

This became a ‘must-have’ item after the six month mark, however, it does not need to be fancy, a simple wedge of foam is all that is required.

In Hospital

For me;

Pyjamas - Huge size

Knickers - Huge size

Sanitary Pads - Huge size (are you noticing the pattern?)

Bra + Breast Pads - Nursing or maternity bra for extra support (think: sore boobs)

Best Quality Wash Products - You will be glad!

MP3 Player - Was my saviour when I was kept in, on and off for the final week

Book/Magazine - See above + it might be some time before you read again

Toiletries

Tracksuit or similar for going home, don’t bother taking anything non-stretchy, too sore, too depressing

Food - Favourite snacks, the state of hospital food is well documented

For baby;

Nappies - Allowing 8 per day is sensible

Vests - 2 for each day in hospital

Sleepsuits/Babygro’s - Allow 3/4 for every 24 hour period (especially for first-time mums who are picky over minor spillages)

Blanket - 1, because it’s nice to have your own.

Cotton Wool - For nappie-changing

Cardigan - 1, just in case it’s cold

Complete outfit and jacket - For coming home, don’t forget socks or bootees

The First 3 Months

If bottlefeeding (couldn’t tell you for breastfeeding, although I know you need breasts and a bit of willpower as a minimum!);

Bottles - 6 or more, I found 9 the optimum.

Sterilizer - Microwaveable version is adequate

Bottle Warmer - We used it, but not for long.

A Cot and Bedding

A Changing Mat/Station - plus nappy changing paraphernalia

Some clothes, but lots of vests and sleepsuits

A Few Toys - A jingly ball that cost a pound was the favourite here

Dummies - If you plan to use them

A Car Seat

A Pram/Buggy

And I think that’s it..

Can anyone think of anythingelse, we’re just talking the bare minimum here…

This activity in ‘Have Fun with Your Kids’ by Marilee LeBon reminded me of the several times we made these, except we pretended they were guitars.

How To Make a Homemade Banjo

You will need;

A Paper-Towel Tube

A Tissue Box (one of the rectangular ones)

Three Rubber Bands

Paint or other materials for decoration

1. Staple the paper towel tube to the back of the tissue box lengthways.

2. Cut three notches on each end of the tube. Stretch the rubber bands from one end of the tube to the other and let them rest in the notches.

3. Paint/decorate your banjo.

What makes her happy and how to go after those things…

The most important thing in life is to be happy, we spend quite a few years here (on earth) and I want Erin to be as happy as possible for as much of that time as possible. My next two things should help, along with teaching her how to look after herself well, what it means to be in a fulfilling relationship and the importance of family and friendship.

A parent/s that can offer a sound and safe base from which their children can explore is offering a very special thing. Being able to live life knowing that if something goes wrong that sound and safe base will still be there is very reassuring.

The value of money and how to manage it…

In my opinion financial stress is one of the worst types of stress I know. I want to teach Erin the value of money early on, the value of spending it and the value of saving/investing it. How to earn money, and how to live within your means will also be high up on the agenda.

Learning doesn’t have to end when school does…

Finally, like the value of money I’d like to teach Erin the value of lifelong learning. Continuing to learn and not being afraid to go back to education or retrain will be a valuable skill when Erin is older, with an everchanging workforce, flexibility and a plethora of skills are surely high on any employer’s wish list. Of course, I will also be showing Erin that you do not need to work for someonelse and it is equally viable to start your own business or income streams.

What would you like your child to learn before 18?

Mammablogga Group Writing Project

We took Erin for her first visit to the library earlier in the week. She really enjoyed it. There was an area with soft flooring, toddler books, plus some toys and even a kitchen. I thought of several reasons why the library would be a regular visit for us.

Free Books

Toddler books are so short it’s easy to become bored with them, with the libraries seemingly endless supply it will be a nice change from what we have at home.

Interaction

Erin ended up chatting and playing alongside another little girl, it was nice for her as she is an only child and any extra kid interaction she gets is gratefully received.

Community Hub

I found out from the message board that there was a playgroup Erin will be old enough for come February next year which would give us somethingelse to do and another chance to meet other children.

Readings

There was another notice advertising a monthly story reading, Erin would love this, and of course there is the added advantage that it’s free.

We (Alex, Erin and I) went to a local buffet restaurant for lunch today. We go fairly regularly, about every six weeks or so, Erin loves it, she gets loads of attention from the staff as she has been going there since she was born.

Today I noticed how well Erin’s table manners were coming along, at sixteen months you can’t expect too much, here is a couple of things we do expect, and to be honest Erin rarely lets herself down - if you can even call it that at her age.

No shouting/screaming

She laughs loads but I don’t allow unnecessary levels of noise that disrupt other diners’ experience.

No smearing food or throwing it around

Obviously Erin eats predominantly with her fingers, that’s acceptable, however, dipping fingers in food and smearing it around is a no no, as is throwing it on the floor. I am still teaching her to say ta when she wants food taken away, she doesn’t like leftover food in front of her for too long.

I think this is very very basic stuff, she easily understands ‘the rules’ and hopefully this will be the beginnings of good table manners that she can rely on when she is at formal social gatherings as an adult. I find a buffet restaurant or indeed any kid friendly eaterie is a great way to introduce table manners outside of the home. On the few occasions we have taken Erin somewhere a bit more upmarket her behaviour has made me very proud and she always receives lots of compliments.

Hey, if you can’t be proud of your kids what can you be proud of! Is everyonelse working on table manners too?

Erin turned sixteen months yesterday, if she’d received a pound for every time someone asked me if she is walking yet she’d have a healthy car/mortgage deposit/uni fund by now.

Erin stood unaided for the first time today, she also walked for the first time with her push along toy, and refused to be spoon fed preferring to feed herself. Aaah my baby is growing up and I’m experiencing the same blend of pleasure, sorrow and pride that we (parents) feel every time a new skill is learned, independence is granted, and every time our babies take a step to toddlerdom, our toddlers become preschoolers, our preschoolers become independant ‘little people’, then teenagers, and so on…

Today it dawned on me that we don’t need to plan every detail of their progression, they will progress alone providing they have the environment to do so. My answer to the constant “is she walking yet?” question is always the same “she’ll walk when she’s ready” if I’m feeling particularly cheeky I’ll point out that there aren’t many grown adults still crawling on hands and knees, unless you include the inebriated clubbers on a friday night.

We clapped and whooped when she stood, and more when she walked with the push-a-long toy, and I allowed and encouraged the self feeding, I hope my lack of eagerness for her to learn to do everything sooner rather than later will result in her being more keen to learn and progress when she is older, without feeling the pressure of a ‘pushy parent’ shoving her along in every endeavour.

When she walks, it will be soon enough. When she talks, it will be soon enough. If she does her best in life, it will always be good enough. And, when she doesn’t do her best I hope I’ll be able to guide her.

You may think these terms are only suitable for the workplace, but think about it for a moment.

If our home is our business, and we are the Managing Director, we either choose to micro-manage or delegate every day.

Micro-Managing

The micro-manager finds it difficult to relinquish control. When they occasionally delegate tasks they do so one by one, with specific instructions and will check back regularly to make sure the task is being performed to their high standards - if not, they may choose to do the task themselves, all-the-while muttering martyr-esque comments….

The pros of being a micro-manager

The job gets done exactly how you want it to get done.

The cons of being a micro-manager

Stress - It takes time to issue tasks one by one and check up regularly

Your kids/partner will feel that they can’t be trusted just to do the job.

You may end up with a complete boycott until you lower your exacting standards!!

Complete Delegation

The complete delgator will delegate tasks to the most appropriate person once, with instructions, and will leave that person to fulfill the task the way they see fit.

The pros of being a complete delegator

Each task needs only be delegated once, thus saving time.

Less stress, as you relax your standards and know that everything will get done, and you don’t have to do it all.

Your family will be more eager to help when they can do it on their own terms.

The cons of being a complete delegator

Tasks may not be completed the way you would do it.

Are you a micro-manger or a complete delegator?

(I’m an ex micro-manager seeing the light and advantages of being a complete delegator!)