The Anonymous Blogger
Thanks to ‘Emily’ of MTJAM for this insight into anonymous blogging for the Great British Blog Festival. Emily is a finalist in the MADs funniest blog category.
The internet is a vast, anonymous city, made up of pockets of neighbourhoods where everybody knows everybody. When you start a blog you can choose to go unnoticed, you can choose to hide your true identity, or you can choose to throw yourself into community life. I choose to write anonymously. Having my real name all over the internet would conflict with my day job, and besides, I wanted the freedom that anonymity brings. If the purpose of your blog is to connect with far-flung friends and family, or to diarise your life as a memento of your child’s development, clearly anonymity would somewhat defeat this purpose. But if you write for writing’s sake, as I do; if you write to vent frustrations, to express grief, to share anecdotes, anonymity can bring with it a liberating feeling, adding zest to your writing. It enables you to be truly open about your feelings and about your relationships with children or partners, without fear of reprisals. Anonymity also encourages truly unsolicited feedback on your writing, the like of which you will never truly see from friends.
Shortly after I started blogging it became difficult not having a ‘real name’. PR pitches begged an answer and I was trying my hand at some free-lance writing. And so Emily Carlisle was born. Emily is candid, imaginative and far wittier than I, and I have grudgingly noted that she receives far more e-mail and invitations than I do. In fact I darkly suspect my husband prefers her to me…
As the parent blogging world snowballs, more and more meet-ups are being arranged. This creates a problem for the anonymous blogger; how can one go to CyberMummy, how can one go to The MADs award ceremony without revealing one’s real name? Would it be possible to avoid the cameras for the entire event? Perhaps one could arrive wearing a bag on one’s head, or some sort of hat and veil combination… When The MADs finalists were announced, nominees went publicity-crazy and it dawned on me how restricting it can be to retain one’s anonymity. When you’re open about who you are and what you do you can have your photos in your local paper, you can add your blog address to your e-mail signature and link it to your Facebook page. You can promote yourself and your blog as a marketable package. When you blog anonymously, you rely solely upon your blog content to gain readership.
Recently I’ve relaxed my anonymity a little. I will never use my real name in anything that I write, but I have shared my blog address with a few friends. I’m disappointed – but not surprised – to discover that it has changed the way I write; that I now have an audience in mind, instead of crafting my posts and sending the words out into the ether. I am more conscious of causing offence; of unwittingly – or indeed deliberately – using a friend’s character trait or stealing a conversation as the base of a blog post.
If you’re just thinking about starting your blog, think carefully about whether anonymity is for you, or whether you’re happy for your life to be laid bare on the internet. For my part, I’ll stick with anonymity. My relationship with my blogging alter-ego, Emily, is now so entwined I turned round on the bus the other day when someone called her name. I just wish she’d pull her weight round the house a bit.
LOL-it would be nice to have two of me as well.
I’m not totally anonymous, my real name is linked to my blog if you look BUT I have a separate email for bloggy things, don’t link to my Facebook where real people (and some colleagues) might see it and certainly would never tell anyone in my professional sphere about it. I also keep Linkedin separate from anything bloggy
Its not that I’m ashamed of it, more that whilst it wouldn’t be frowned on professionally I’m not sure that there are many people who would understand my need to write or my need to be candid
The same is true of family – they haven’t been told and I doubt I ever will. In fact the thought of having my picture in the local paper and being outed as a blogger makes me shudder!
I think I am probably the only blogger happy that by searching my name and blog I don’t get a 1st page google result !
You are right – being completely anonymous is not easy . I class myself as semi-anonymous, in that I don’t put myself completely out there with full name, photos etc, but on the other hand, people who know me would recognise me fairly quickly from what I write. My initial instinct was to go fully anonymous in the hope of truly being free in my writing – this way, I am still self-censoring more than perhaps I would like.
It’s certainly a tricky balance. I’m intrigued by your idea of actually creating a whole separate identity for your bloggy self.
In recent months I have wished for a bit more anonymity. I have neighbours who read my blog and family who read it and there are times when I’d like to have a good old whinge and can’t. I also worry sometimes, after writing a more introspective post, whether my Dad will be on the phone later! I have always kept Little Miss’ name secret but I use her pictures and mine on the blog. One day, if I’m still blogging when she’s old enough, I’ll ask HER if she minds. Now, if I decided to be anonymous…what name would I pick?? Ooh, that would be a fun one!
Blimey. I could have written most of this post. I wish I knew when I started my blog what I know now; I never expected anyone to actually read the thing. The photos were a mistake, as were our real first names. Doh. Hey-ho!
Once my parents and Harry’s nursery both found my blog – through a rotten-unlucky concatenation of circs – I knew my days were numbered. Making the Mads finals made me acknowledge proper defeat (and as an entirely good-humoured aside, I feel that the finalists who were unwilling to court publicity are not likely to win, placed against those bloggers that were happy to share their details with the press – unless they have a simply enormous loyal readership) and I cautiously outed myself on Facebook, follwoing an entire weekend of removing or censoring posts that were, shall we say… informative… to anyone who actually knows me. My outing was met by absolute deafening silence! I haven’t actually had the balls to ask anyone yet whether they had already discovered me, or just aren’t interested in reading – either is fine, because, as you say, I am now anxious of giving offence and am picking my way through the verbal tulips with great care.
Those of your friends who do know who you are surely wouldn’t mind you picking up on their character traits and foibles? As your friends, they are likely to be similar people to you and able to see the humour in what you write. Don’t write differently or self-edit just because of that………….
Interesting post. I’m a bit schizophrenic when it comes to blogging. Generally I’m anonymous but a few people know my first name. I’ve relaxed a bit recently and had my photo on my blog. I agree that you do change once people you know read your blog. I try to be true to English Mum though! (and I’m still not friends with her on Facebook!) x
Susie – try it, it’s very liberating!
Muddling – seems you and I have a very similar approach, although my work would definitely frown about some of the things I write about.
Julie B – the separate identity thing came about because it felt a bit weird signing myself as MTJAM! It’s really grown on me and I really like Emily now
Karin – we (DH & I) had lots of fun picking a pseudonym. It was important to me that it felt like my real name – and it does!
Hairy Famer – how did the nursery find your blog? I think you’re absolutely right about the awards vs publicity issue; very difficult to market a blog without ‘coming out’. I’m not in a position to do that as long as I have the day job.
AmpneyGirl – no, you’re quite right, in fact several of my friends actively encourage me to use particular episodes as blog-fodder. I’ve just noticed that since I gave the URL out to friends I’ve stopped writing about personal, self-reflective stuff; I only write the more superficial isn’t-life-funny-and-aren’t-I-a-clown sort of stuff.
English Mum – Make friends on FB with English Mum. She’s nice
I wish I’d started anonymously, I haven’t blogged anything for ages as I had a 2 family members comment about my blog. One of them was quite upset about something and it has made me paranoid about posting new blogs! Am thinking I may have to reinvent myself – how does Doris sound?
I am another blogger who wishes they’d started anonymously. The constant self-censoring I have to do because many of my family and friends read my blog, is so frustrating. And as a result I often find my blog a bit superficial because I steer clear of any dangerous ground. Might have to start being a bit braver with my posts I think…
I hadn’t noticed you were using ‘Emily’ and i’m a regular reader of MTJAM! I’m obviously not very observant!! I’m anonymous-ish!
God, it was absurd. I had been trying to ring the nursery
to tell them Harry was poorly, but was ringing a number I had found on google. When we tipped up the following week, they were all ‘where WERE you?’ and I was all ‘answer your bloody phone!’ and it transpired that the number I had found was ancient. They wanted to know where I had found it so they could delete it: I instructed them to Google themselves. Which they did. Extensively and meticulously. I had mentioned them by name in one post, so naturally they found my blog in their search results. DOH.
My parents found me when I told my Dad about my Just Giving page, and he saw a huge (generous, amazing, humbling, touching) number of donations from people of whom he had never heard – who had signed in using their blog monikers. I think – I’ve never precisely asked – that they googled those blogs and found me in the comments.
..great post!