Sun Safety Four Year Old Style
Picture the scene: I’m in the bath trying to have a quiet soak when Erin barges in, not an unusual event, in fact it would be a fecking miracle to bath alone without the dog, the child or the husband wanting something. I try hard to ignore her presence but she starts ‘mumming’ at me. I look up to see evidence, her face is red, I look down and her hands are red…
Me: Why are your hands red?
Erin: [ignores me]
Me: Why is your face red?
Erin: [Oh crap I'm in trouble look]
Me: Well? [in my accusing 'mummy tone']
Erin: Promise not to be angry with me?
Me: Tell me first and then I’ll decide…
Erin: I was touching the crown.
Me: What crown? Go and get it…
She returns with a birthday crown fashioned by her nursery buddies, my eyes scan the crown for the offending material..
Aha! (and feeling distinctly like feckin Sherlock Holmes) I spot the red tissue paper.
Me: So why is your mouth red?
Erin: I put it in my mouth
Me: [Feck sake, I give her three meals a day and she's trying to eat red tissue paper?!]
Erin: I was trying to make suncream for my baby
And there we’ve finally hit on this madness, I demand to see the baby and there’s no red on her at all, she’d have been burnt to a bloody cinder poor child.
So, is there such a thing as tissue paper poisoning?
I think Erin’s very brave to confess all. Did you give her ‘the look’?
lol! Points to her for trying though!
DD – I gave her the child friendly version