Being Littlemummy
This is a guest post for ‘Guest Post Day’ by Babyrambles, a blog I didn’t read before guest post day but one that has found it’s way into my google reader already!
I?ve decided to travel 400 miles to sit at Erica?s desk. And some desk it is too. You should see this study I?m sitting in, it?s bigger than my living room at home. Erica came up with this brilliant idea of Guest Post Swap Day. But I?m not content with just swapping posts on each other?s blogs, I actually wanted to see what it would be like to be Erica. So I’m in her house. I?m lucky to be here, I almost didn?t get through the security on her gates. Oh and look, the butler?s just brought me some coffee. This Little Mummy lifestyle is a nice one.
How often do you put yourself in someone else?s shoes? I feel like I?m doing it today. It?s quite difficult because I don?t know Erica very well. That first paragraph was a bit of fiction by the way. I don?t think it does any harm to put yourself in someone else?s shoes, no matter how well you know them.
There?s an old saying, ?Never judge a man until you?ve walked a mile in his shoes.? I like that saying (and it applies to women too funnily enough). Billy Connolly added, ?After that, who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.? I like that as well.
My sister put herself in my shoes this week. She got married on Wednesday but I wasn?t at her wedding. I was so sad to miss it. Her wedding was in South Africa. We thought long and hard about going, but taking three little ones on a journey like that would have been too much for us. Phoning my sister and telling her we wouldn?t be going to her wedding was one of the hardest things I?ve done. She doesn?t have children and probably doesn?t appreciate what hard work they can be.
I worried my sister would be offended and hold a grudge against me. Missing her wedding was a tough and difficult decision to make. She was disappointed, but after some thought she understood. I spoke to her on her wedding day, she sounded so happy and I felt sad not to be sharing that with her. But she told me again that she understood why we couldn?t have gone. And that made me feel so much better. Our lifestyles are very different, but she was able to empathise with me. I appreciate that. It?s not a skill everyone has.
So today I?m in Erica?s shoes. I hope I?ve managed to do a reasonable job of filling them. And if I haven?t? well Erica will be back very shortly! Pretending to be Erica has made me think a bit differently. I?ve written a post here which I don?t think I?d have written for my own blog. I don?t know why, but I think I?ve enjoyed being a bit different for a day.
That is so hard when you live far away. I live in Israel and I have one sister in Washington state and one in Vegas (and parents in NY).
I definitely empathise with you.
It is very funny cause Dara from readily a Parent wrote a guest post for me and her title was also about walking in someone else’s shoes. Cool eh? people thinking the same thing.
I’m glad your sister could be so understanding. Sometimes as humans get carried away with sympathy and forget about empathy.
Wow what an understanding sister and not a bridezillar!!
I try to empathise when I can and I totally agree about walking in someone elses shoes
What a lovely sister you have x
It’s a shame that you couldn’t be at your sister’s wedding but lovely that she was so understanding.
I missed my brother’s wedding for the same reason. It was really hard but he was understanding too, thankfully!
Interesting that you felt more free in your writing whilst guesting at Erica’s. I understand how you feel…i know that my family read my blog now and somewhere deep in my subconscious that does affect me, I’d probably be much rantier and sweary at times but I self-moderate!
It must have been really tough to have missed your sister’s wedding but she’ll deffo understand one day, even if she doesn’t fully now.
Lovely post…Px
I was thinking the same as peabee72 above..funny how writing as a guest sparked this inner thought.
I’m sorry you had to miss her wedding. I can imagine the difficulty in taking that decision but the sanity underlying it s shouting out at me.
Lovely post
My sister is abroad too – the US – and has no kids. It is really difficult to know that you are missing out of so much of their lives – but I bet she feels the same way about missing out on seeing your children growing up.
I thought that Erica’s shoes fitted you very nicely
Bumbling x
What a lovely post – such a funny introduction! I missed me brother’s wedding so I can relate to how you are feeling. He got married in China which was slightly too far to travel with a one year old who wa unwell at the time. They understood, like your sister did. Since then they have had their own child who is also one, which has helped them appreciate how hard parenting can be at times.
Lovely post – on the shoe theme too!
Thanks for your comments, it’s reassuring to hear so many have similar experiences. That’s the nature of life these days I guess, it’s global!
it is nice to be someone else even for just a short time – makes you look at things a bit differently. it is hard being so far away from people especially on those big days you want to share with them. so pleased you sister understood.
So sorry you had to miss your sister’s wedding, but it sounds like she was very understanding about it all. Lovely post.
These are such difficult choices, trying to balance children and social expectations, especially ones like this that mean so much to you. Having been through a lot of these already, I can tell you that it doesn’t get easier. I had times when family events were on Friday nights and half a country away, and as a working parent, there were many I just couldn’t do. Some understood; others, I sure didn’t (and probably still don’t). Sometimes finances, too, got in the way. Best, best wishes.