Have I Been Violated?
I received a massage voucher for my christmas for a nice health and beauty place in Edinburgh.
I’ve had one massage before this one. It was nice.
The room was dimly lit and the girl seemed pleasant enough, I chose some oils then undressed and got onto the bed as instructed. The girl returned and put some aromatherapy oil on my top lip (to help me relax) and then got to work. Firstly on my front around my neck and shoulders, very good.
The girl told me to turn over whilst shielding my modesty with the towel. She tucked the towel into my knickers and pulled them down what seemed like a couple of inches too far. I nervously clenched and she started pummelling my buttocks, I tried to relax but when someone is massaging your bum it’s not easy. She massaged my whole back but kept returning to the bum area, each time I clenched up and then tried to relax, I was worried that the more ‘tension’ she felt the more she would massage!
At the end she clinked the maracca thing and asked me if I’d been able to fully relax. I nodded profusely and thanked her, trying to hide my embarrassment.
So in a Joey from Friends like fashion (remember ‘cupping-gate’) I’m asking you, is it normal for a massage to include bottom rubbing? Or have I been violated?
Photo of bum not mine (unfortunately)
I've been blogging for four years and write about anything and everything that takes my fancy.
Above is me with my beloved Ernie in Port Aventura and left with our love child in Florida.
Themocracy
I’ve never had a massage. I hate the idea of it. I think you are supposed to come away feeling relaxed though, certainly not feeling uncomfortable about the experience.
Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed it, just not the bit where she touched my bum
Ha ha, I can so imagine you in that predicament.
You think that’s bad, one of my best friends went for a massage and the woman spent far too much time massaging her boobs. Yes that’s right, I said her boobs. Since when did they need destressing?!
I have regular spa days with full massage and can’t say my bum has been massaged, Always no bum cleavage showing from towel and neck, shoulders, back, thighs ( which sometimes I think goes too far up!) legs and feet although once felt like the girl administering massage was licking my feet which was not nice ….
There was no boob massage, although I think I would have preferred that, maybe not actually…
Scrummycupcake – I’m ashamed to say there may have been a little cleavage
You had a naughty masseuse lol I use the Hilton for mine and like I say only had one odd experience lol
During pregnancy, when I had a lot of hip and lower back pain, I did have my buttocks/glutes massaged by my therapist and it was helpful. She did ask and make sure I was comfortable with this before pummeling though!
Ah well, have to say that it depends on the massage. Buttocks can hold a huge amount of tension and, when I used to have pressure point/myofascial release massage my chap used to dig pretty deep into my buttocks (and thighs – another big tension area for me).
But it’s very unusual for an aromatherapy massage. Trouble is, most of us are just too polite to say,’hang on darling, I don’t like having my bum rubbed’…
We’re pretty tame on massage here in the UK.
In Austria, you just strip right off (yup, with male masseurs too) and lie butt-naked. Ditto in India where I have my boobs massaged – and, given the size of them, it was damn painful.
I would suggest you get in touch with the salon/spa and ask if that is normal for that kind of massage as you felt uncomfortable. The therapist should have asked you, I reckon and it does sound a little strange in the circs.
It was more on the upper part of my bum, but still… a bit too low for my comfort levels. I didn’t say anything though, was happier to die of embarrassment.
Jane – I was expecting everyone to say it was fine and I was over reacting! She was a nice girl, and it was kinda at the top of my bum, but still…
Hey, I usually have to pay extra for that!
Seriously, though, massaging your bottom can help other back-related problems. I’m talking within reason, of course. I think you get an idea when someone is massaging versus copping a feel. Of course, if it was a guy massaging my bottom, I’d likely say “No crossing the border, dude.”
Blogger dad;why would you want a guy massaging your ANYTHING?!
Oh, and been there, done that with the butt massage. And then she moved on to my boobs. She did kinda ask first, but I was too surprised to even get a word out. And then she just went for it.
Just me that thinks it’s quite normal then? Ho hum.
Oh God this brings back memories. When we went to Goa, English Grandma and I went for a massage. Not only did they allocated us TWO ladies each, but they stripped us butt naked, covered us liberally in oil and massaged EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. My poor mother has never recovered from the double-boob massage. The two girls must have been all of 16!
Yes, I think last time I had a massage she went pretty low on the ol’ butt – well it is your biggest muscle! xx
Haha! I went for some lymphatic drainage massage sessions before Christmas which turned out to be more like prodding me in odd places (like my buttocks) on each side and then the therapist leaving the room for 3 minute intervals. When she returned to the room she didn’t say anything so it could have been anyone wandering in and having a prod! Needless to say I haven’t been back!
Blogger Dad – It was definitely massaging rather than copping a feel
EM – And you’ve never posted about this?
Nah! I totally hear you though. I went to the “Beijing Clinic” here on the Gold Coast in Australia that is in a shopping centre on a total whim. Same thing, they kept going near my bum. I kept clenching, she kept telling me “rerax” Couldn’t. Came out with a neck kink. Funny post
Oh. Um, I’m kinda with Heather…thought it was normal? In fact, I reckon I’d quite like it?
…did I say too much?
My husband gave me a gift voucher for a massage for Christmas one year. Little did he know my masseuse would be a gorgeous man. Merry Christmas to me.
Bern – So glad it’s not just me
Kat – Best christmas present ever?
I would have found that weird but then I hate the idea of a massage unless it’s from, cough, a loved one. Next time maybe you should tell them to keep their hands off your junk. I can just imagine you giving them the look.
Adrenalynn – I’m speechless. Where’s Dave Fowler when you need him?
Twenty five years ago I distinctly remember telling the careers officer that I was good with my hands and liked to work closely with people. Did he suggest this profession to me?! NO he did not! What a b*5t@r*!
Hi Little Mummy, for what it’s worth I don’t think you’ve been violated. What’s a little builders bum between friends, eh? As for you Adrenalynn… you should talk to someone about this. I’ll email my number to you.
A female friend of mine once described a massage she’d had on holiday in Greece. The masseuse was a big muscly guy and he too offered a boob massage which she declined. But she did say that on occasion his fingers did flick against her ‘waxing zone’ whilst he was massaging her thighs. Apparently she couldn’t wait to get out of there, but also confessed that she couldn’t wait to get back in. She never did though. Well, that’s what she says anyway.
I suppose it’s a serious issue, but as you all seem to be laughing about it I don’t feel too bad about making silly jokes.
BTW Tara and Adrenalynn… why did I have to hear about this post from someone else? Call yourselves friends?? Tsk!
Thanks Little Mummy for the best post I’ve read in ages!
Laugh away Dave, I wasn’t expecting any sympathy and that Tara has apparently been howling with laughter on twitter.
Violated! But as it’s given you such good blog material I’d say that’s made up for it!!
Ring the salon and complain – it doesn’t sound quite right, what she did.
It certainly has Ella, I couldn’t possibly complain now!
] Been single along time any thrill will do ! whats the name of the the place ? lol
hmmmm
Hi Little Mummy,
I studied massage as part of a dgree in chiropractice. Massaging the buttocks is certainly legitimate, but gaining your consent is also important. She really should have explained what she was doing and sought your permission. If you felt uncomfortable then that is what matters.