Whose responsibility is it to teach our kids?
Erin’s in preschool but before long I’ll be signing her life her education over to the professionals, up until now I’ve been her teacher. We’ve spent nearly four years together, I’ve taught her to walk, talk, make pasties and play noughts & crosses, all life skills I’m sure you’ll agree. So now that she’s due to start school next year I’m beginning to wonder where my ‘teaching’ role begins and ends.
Is it time I let go? Allow the professionals to get on and do their job, after all I don’t have a teaching degree.
Do I play the supporting role filling in the gaps with craft filled afternoons and trips to the museum?
Or is it the other way round, are the teachers supporting me? Will my role change at all? I don’t know.
I’d hate to think after four years hard graft I’m going to be consigned to the dump, bright enough to educate a preschooler but too dim to teach anything beyond basic addition, but if I do try and get involved will I end up hindering her progress, teaching her letters in the non-phonic way or teaching her that quadratic equations are pointless 
Should I be pleased to be ‘hands off’? Who wants to re-learn quadratic equations anyway?
I just don’t know
So I’m asking you, how much do you get involved in your child’s education? Do you help with homework? Do you do extra learning at home? Or do you stay well out of it.
Whose responsibility is it to teach our kids?
My oldest daughter is in Year 1. I had the same problem when she started Reception. I didn’t get a lot of information from her teachers. They were nice enough, said she behaved, but really didn’t offer advise on what to do. I was told not to do phonics with her because my American phonics are completely different than the phonics taught in British schools (totally ok with this). I just did my best to support what they asked me to do; make costumes for performances, bring in materials for crafts. This year, I am a little more active in my “teaching” role, helping my daughter with her reading assignments. I think you are really just going to have to follow the teacher’s lead and see what is required when you come to the bridge.
Education does begin in the home, IMO, and parents should not assume the classroom is the only place for children to learn. School is where they learn the kinds of things you don’t get at home, but parental teaching includes important life skills like communication, counting, spelling, reading, cooking, discipline…
All you have to do is make reading part of everyday life, or counting things – fingers, carrots, cars, squirrels, or anything else. Reading stories to children at bedtime, chatting to them about their day – it all aids their ability to learn better in the classroom. Happy at home, too, means productive in the classroom.
As for helping with quadratic equations and long division… well, that’s where Mr Google comes in handy.
Thanks Kat, the nursery teachers have been so lovely I hope it’s the same in P1
Thanks Steve, how old are your kids?
I have two girls, 12 and 7.
This time last year we were thinking the same thoughts as you, now MaxiMad has been in school a whole term and I am so relieved his has the most wonderful teacher you could ever imagine. 5 years qualified, no children of her own yet, exciting, interesting, inspiring and oh so, so wonderful. She involved us in every aspect of his schooling and we are of the opinion that it is a partnership, but the most important thing is that he is happy. We can pick up any slack, we are not that thick in that we can not cover it. But oh the Joy of a happy at school child.
I still remember the shock when my 5 year old started reception. Here I was at the end of each day absolutely none the wiser as to what she’d been doing for 6 hours a day. She was too tired to tell me and when she did tell me it wasn’t enough, I wanted to know EVERYTHING!
I don’t do anything formal at home, just I suppose whatever comes naturally. We play games using numbers, letters etc and read a lot. I suppose I see my role now as teaching her life skills, common sense (say nothing) and I leave the school to the serious educational side of it.
*cough* common sense, will need to read up on that.
I’m with Laura. We don’t ‘teach’ at home but we play games like Scrabble and Monopoly, we read every day, we encourage them to count money to think of a meal and the ingredients, to go for walks and investigate the flora and fauna. There are so many things children can learn outside the classroom that helps them when they are in the classroom.
Quadratic equations? Aaaghh. I thank the heavens that James (Year 6) is good at maths because I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to help him. And he refuses to accept help from me with English (which I AM good at) because I ‘teach different rules from the teachers’….(yes, that’s because they’re wrong, and I’m right!).
I think you have to accept that they will want to do things the ‘school’ way…and yes,as Laura says, getting information out of them is like opening tough pistachio nuts – painful.
Horrible truth is that it’s the first step away from them, letting them grow and be their own people (and it’s tough)…tough but necessary.
Janexx
For a child, I reckon knowing someone at home actually cares what they’re up to is enough. If they’re set homework, then I feel it’s my responsibility to make them do it (I’m talking the oldest being four, and homework currently taking about two minutes). Otherwise, the mites are so tired that I take a benign neglect approach, unless it’s to do with rolling around on the floor/making popcorn/painting faces.
When IJ started school she struggled a lot and I found that doing some extra work with her at home really made a difference. I still do this with her now but not hours and hours, possible only 15 minutes some times as she is tired after school.I think we remain their main educator but we also need to support their teachers. I know little of what IJ does in school despite trying to find out from her teacher, but I do what I can to help her studies. There are also the big questions about life, death, sex and relationships etc that I think it is our role and responsibility to answer.Rambling now… and that is longer than 5 lines. Ooops!
I firmly believe you are your kids BEST teacher. The people at schools are there to support you. It’s your job to teach them responsibility, maturity, kindness, compassion, and common sense. And as a Mom of a 9 and 11 yr old, learn it their way. School systems have a curriculium through out, so learn it with them. When they are a little older make them teach you. Its a great way to make sure they are getting it.
I would just carry on doing all the things you do now, and talk to her teacher about how you can help her at home. There are lots of activities that you probably do anyway, which are educational in their own way (baking; gardening; puzzles, art and crafts, games, etc.) that all go to help a child learn. Also, one of the best things a parent can do is to prepare their child to interact with others and learn some social skills. I work in a primary school and a lot of children come to school with no idea of how to share or take part in a game with others.
The problem that I often see is when some parents think schools are responsible for teaching their children about everything – morals; religious beliefs; manners; behaviour; etc. and blame the schools for any problems their child may have.
Don’t worry about it, I’m sure Erin will be fine – and so will you!
Interesting tip Enid, Thanks
The responsibility for educating your children is yours and your alone. How you choose to do that is up to you. I’m guessing you are on formal education route through school but you can still decide how school fits in with you and yours. Personally I do not support homework of any sort and have had varying degrees of involvement with primary and secondary schools regarding this. I find if you have a strong opinion about anything to do with school they just ignore you so I tend to subvert from within. We’ve recently lost the Spanish teacher at the kids secondary so I’m looking to incorporate some external independent learning and see if I can get my son signed up with the OU for S3. Basically don’t rule anything out, do what feels right and don’t be afraid to change your mind and try something else.