Will you give financial support in adulthood?
Money and kids always make interesting discussions, from the pocket money debate (how much, when, and for what) to whether you’d be willing to support children into adulthood.
I was financially independant from the age of sixteen and moved out completely when I was seventeen and I’ve never moved back. This is probably not un unusual scenario for past generations however with the cost of living rising and the difficulty young people face in getting a mortgage this has all changed and it’s far more common to hear of people living at home in their twenties and sometimes beyond.
As a parent how much do you feel that you’re obliged to support your children?
Do you think that parents should provide children with their first car, a down payment on their first house or see them through university? At what point do we draw the line and accept that they’re no longer our financial responsibility.
Does it help them to prolong the dependency, will they become reliant and less creative themselves if we’re always there with handouts and a little too ready to pick up the pieces if they make mistakes.
I don’t have my personal answers to all these questions so I guess in many ways I’m thinking out aloud. I don’t think at seventeen you automatically have the right to be handed a set of keys and a batch of driving lessons, although this has become an expectation in some circles. I definitely don’t feel I should be paying a down payment on a house and the university funding is something I continue to ponder.
I have contributed to Erin’s trust fund and will try to do so more in the future, so she’ll have a chunk of money to do with what she wishes but I’m considering setting up a seperate account that I can use to help here and there when I think she *really* needs it, and I think that’s the key for me. I want her to be independant so I guess I’d want to help out a little where becoming independant will be the result. I’m far more comfortable using this pot as an interest free loan, that way I can help with bigger steps without handing her things on a plate. Going back to the university/college thing I think it’s something I’d want to help with and I’d consider contributing to certain aspects of it. I also think that if 16-18 year olds stay on at school then I’d be happy to supply a larger allowance on a monthly basis as lack of money was one of my reasons for leaving college.
Have you considered how you’ll support your children in the future?
We’d like them to earn upto half of the amount and we’ll match them for their first car. Uni it’ll really depend. We’re saving for retirement first so we shall see how that goes. There are so many ways to do Uni these days even as we don’t know which country we’ll be in. As for house. That’s something we’d have to look into further down the way. We hope that we’re teaching financial independence from now. The oldest has a Savvy pig and the Middle one will get one from Father Christmas. They get the concept of spending and saving and giving so far.
One thing we are sure of is to teach them about money while they are young. We hope to start the Ramsey plan with them. We can only try and see how far all this gets us. Handling money is such a learned skill even we still struggle with.
Good topic.
Hi Melitsa, looks like you have thought this through and have a strategy already!
I intend to fully fund their education but cars and deposits on homes? I don’t foresee being able to manage that as things stand at the moment! I don’t consider the education bit an obligation tho, I think the student loan system and the end of grants stinks and I will do everything I can to prevent my kids leaving uni with upwards of ?12,000 debt (which was the average a few years ago so I dread to think what it is now). I am currently in education myself with the sole goal of returning to work in a few years time to fund them through their tertiary education. If it takes every penny I earn then it’s given gladly.
I’m in a similar situation MrsW, I’m applying for Uni next year and I fully expect to walk away with around ?17,000 worth of debt which is a little scary to say the least.
I’ll be more forthcoming with financial support with Erin if it’s for education rather than anythingelse.
Ouch! I’m taking the debt free route thanks to ILA Scotland covering ?500 a year towards Open University courses (which are about ?600 for a 60 point half full-time equivalent). It takes longer but I can do it from home and combine it with the half-hearted SAHM bit of my life.
I’ve been doing the OU thing for the past two years, I ony get ?200 from ILA but it has helped. Erin starts full time school next year and although I’ve enjoyed OU I’m keen to go full time. I hope that I can keep back some of the loan ie. not spend the lot, it’ll depend what breaks over that four years
We’ll try to support our kids through Uni but I don’t know to which extent, as everything seems to be getting more and more expensive. They have a saving account each and I hope this will help help them to understand the concept of “saving for what you wish to buy”. Not easy though, especially as my eldest will be 17 next year and his first wish is driving licence/car. We’ll see. Wish you all the best. Ciao. A.
Hi Mrs W and Little Mummy.
I am doing a case study for the people who administer ILAs in Scotland about mums who use ILAs to fund their learning and skills development. Could you get in touch with me asap as I’d love to get some more details? Kindest regards,
J
Hi Jane,
You can contact me through my contact page above or email me at erica.littlemummy@googlemail.com
I would certainly support my daughter in the future if I am in a position to do so. I’d be sensible of course and would ensure that whatever I was doing would be moving her increasingly towards independence. I have three siblings and my parents have been in a position to help us with deposits on houses etc. We are all very grateful and we are aware not everyone is in this position. I’d do the same for my daughter if I could.