Littlemummy Discusses Abortion – Part 1
Before I start, this is not another post about whether abortion should be legal or not, and I would like to keep that discussion for another day. Thanks
I want to discuss abortion where it directly relates to parenting.
Did you know that a girl of any age may have a termination without consent?
Did you know that nobody need even tell you. Ever.
This is actually the law in Britain. I found out this fact via a book from harper collins which I will be reviewing, however, I can see me writing quite a few of these discussion pieces as I read – You Want to Do What?
I found this fact pretty frightening. I would hate for Erin to go through something like this and not have my support, or worse still, not want my support.
In my opinion, this law should be changed to give a parent the right to be made aware of a termination situation before age 16 with full rights regarding the final decision remaining with the minor.
I understand why the law is as it is, clearly some parents would not be supportive and may use threatening behaviour to sway a decision, but I’d like to think, and perhaps I’m being naive here, that most parents would be an asset in such a difficult situation. I would see myself assisting a daughter in exploring all avenues, perhaps raising points that they hadn’t thought of and expressing my unique viewpoint on whether I think my daughter could cope with such huge responsibility.
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As indicated in the title I want this to be a discussion, and I’m very interested to hear everyone’s take on this. When commenting please stick to the topic, this is a discussion so I expect there to be people with different viewpoints but let’s keep it constructive, abusive comments will be deleted. Thanks, look forward to hearing your thoughts…
I've been blogging for four years and write about anything and everything that takes my fancy.
Above is me with my beloved Ernie in Port Aventura and left with our love child in Florida.
Themocracy
I see your point, but these laws exist for good reason. Girls who fall pregnant under the age of 16 may have done so as part of a teenage fumble, but it could also be the product of all sorts of horrendous things in their home situation. Not all mothers are supportive, balanced or able to provide the support that might be needed to make such a decision, and I don’t believe it should be left to the law to decide who should and shouldn’t know. That should rest only with the young woman who makes the decision.
Yeah, I totally see that side of the argument and it’s difficult to think otherwise, unless of course you start looking at it from a parents perspective and then it’s hard to accept that your ‘little’ girl could be going through that without the support she needs.
I suppose the girls in question would likely tell their mothers if they thought they would be supportive anyway, at least, I’d like to think so.
Exactly – it’s not the law’s place in that situation to dictate who gets told or not. It’s the decision of the person going through that experience.
The law in South Africa has just been changed to allow girls from the age of 12 to have abortions without parental consent. Initially I was horrified, I have a 12 year old daughter and the thought of her facing this kind of situation alone is just unbearable. According to the media, the reasoning behind it is exactly as Dave mentioned in his comment. In this country particularly, there is SO much child rape and sexual assault by family members – sad but true, so I suppose the laws have to provide for that, as horrifying as it seems.
Gill – Yeah, I know… I guess what really matters is the safety of the girls not the fact, that we, as parents, feel the need to support.
You know what’s sad to me is the lack of balance in options presented to women with unplanned pregnancies. I went to a site this week just for pregant concerns, info and help. Of the 4 main buttons on the site two were related to abortion – getting one and life after one. While I appreciated the detailed and balanced information presented on the abortion option I was saddened that the other options were like tiny “oh by the way” thoughts at the very bottom of the page. Adoption wasn’t even discussed with help only the number of women who choose it each year. From my perspective and through my personal experience I know there is no such thing as an unwanted baby/child, only a lack of knowledge and help getting the two sides together. I think that the real tragedy is that abortion is the first and most common choice when there are other really good options too.
Hugs,
Holly
I would want to know and to be able to offer my unconditional love and acceptance at that time. However, too many parents tend to “control” and to not listen throughout childhood and they “teach” (albeit unconsciously) their children not to trust or to confide in them.
If we want to have an unconditional loving relationship with our children we need to start when they are young, and we need to accept them and their ideas (especially the ones that may collide with our own) without judgment. Our children are not mini replica’s of us but they are their own “person” and as parents we need to teach them that they are wonderful and empowered and we absolutely love them-UNCONDITIONALLY! (whether their viewpoint agrees with ours or not!)
Too many young girls are afraid of their parents “judgment”. They are afraid to express conflicting opinions or biases because of that “judgment”. It is especially evident when the parents are part of an oppresive religion.
Okay, I shall now step down from my soapbox!
Thank you!
I’ve had this conversation with friends. Those that have young girls and I can sympathize and understand that as a loving, concerned parent you do want to know for your daughter’s sake more than your own.
Sadly, I’ve come to believe that in America anyway, the number of understanding and supportive parents does not outweigh those that are mired in their own close-minded, outdated, utlra-conservative views about sex.
Laws such as these are there to prevent injury, either by parents or by the girl who doesn’t seek proper treatment and chooses to try to terminate on her own to avoid the repercussions if her parents find out.
I feel that parents that form a healthy loving relationship with their daughters will find that she will inform them anway, by her own choice.
Sure you can’t trust all parents to help kids make the right choice, but you also can’t trust the ‘system’. In such an emotionally charged area people tend to push young woman (and children) in directions based on their own dogma! I agree that as a parent its scary – whatever choice is made there are huge and long term effects on the woman/child.
I don’t exactly understand the law in this regard. I don’t know how it is in Britain, but in the USA a school nurse can not give a child a Tylenol without parental consent, but they can load them on a bus in the middle of the school day and take them to an abortion clinic (yes, it is legal in many states for the school to facilitate the abortion). Abortions are major medical procedures. I don’t give two hoots about a child’s reproductive rights… I care about protecting my children’s health.
There are thousands of possible complications that go along with an abortion, not the least of which is (though rare) death. If my child is going to undergo a major medical procedure, I have every right to know the details, follow up care needed, and signs of complications to watch for.
Both great points Leisa and Amie, it’s such a difficult one..
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