Littlemummy.Com

In a slight departure from my usual subject of parenting, today I’m thinking about marriage, the importance of being a happy couple, and the effect that has on our parenting and the happiness of our children.

Becoming a couple of parents after being just a couple can be a slight shock compared to the old regime of meals out and trips to the cinema. Parenting is great fun but finding the balance between parenting and enjoying couple time can be a challenge, finding the desire to rekindle the activities you used to enjoy is difficult, especially when you throw work and the need to carve out personal time into the mix. In my experience it’s taken almost eighteen months for me to appreciate this and to start finding the balance between being a parent and being the ‘old Erica’ who I have been told took a long holiday (I wish) while we figured out the sheer logistics of childcare - his new role (hunter/gatherer?), my new role (cook/carer?), and monetising the whole venture. The things we used to enjoy went on the backburner while we tried system after system after system, throwing each system out of the door for reasons such as ‘not earning enough money’, ‘no family time left’, ‘not bringing enough satisfaction’ etc etc…

After recently throwing out our latest system, of him working full time and me caring for Erin, studying and working part-time around that (pah!), we are back to square …, well, actually I’ve lost track, but he’s working full time and I’m looking after Erin and if need be I’ll do a saturday job if and when we need the money. We’ve finally turned out attention to enjoying life and each other a little more.

B.E (before Erin) we enjoyed eating out, playing computer games together and going to the cinema, and all the other things that couples like to do (yes, we are talking about that). When you’re a parents as well you need to be a little more inventive when it comes to pursuing the pre-parenting activities you used to enjoy. Here’s how we are managing, I hope that this gives you a bit of inspiration to pursue your own pre-parenting pursuits (say that afters a couple of drinks!, if you ever get round to having a night out..)

Going to the Cinema

We can still go to the cinema if we really want, my in laws live close to the cinema and it’s easy to drop Erin off for a few hours, however, it takes a little more effort than before and when I add in the annoyances of kids shouting and throwing popcorn (jeez, am I getting old?!) and the requirement of a bank loan for a tray of nacho’s and an Irn Bru, I wonder if it’s really worth it. The answer is very occasionally. Instead, we have invested in a nice flat screen dvd combi which we have in our bedroom and we’ll head to blockbuster for £3 and rent a dvd, much nicer…

Playing Computer Games

We used to like playing ps2 quite a bit (as Megin will vouch for!), but again, perhaps it’s me but I found it kind of boring and a time suck to sit idly tapping buttons. Instead, we have invested in a Nintendo Wii, which is a lot of fun, appeals to our (my) competitive streak and provides a pretty decent workout (don’t believe me? you try playing 6 games of tennis, three rounds of boxing and a game of golf….my back and shoulders ache!!). The Wii also gives us good reason to have some stay at home parties with nibbles and wii tournaments, very compatible with being a parent.

Eating Out

We now take turns of making meals, and trying new recipes. We are also trying to cut down on takeaways for both the monetary and health expenses and have replaced that with a fajita night. Alex’s are the best, bar none. I actually find the picnicky style of fajitas a more pleasant experience than a standard take-away.

Ahem, Extra-Curricular Activities

If you think I’m being a little coy here, you should go check your search results after you write anything remotely about….that. Especially after my most recent of said search results “have s _ x with littlemummy” my husband swears it wasn’t him! Anyway, extra curricular activities, never has the phrase ‘get a room’ meant so much, except now it’s ‘get a room, far, far away’. So next month I think we’re hoping to head away for our anniversary, and after all the magazines do advise these impromptu weekends away so there must be something in it…