I’m at that stage of parenthood where people often ask ‘when will we have another’, ‘how many do we want’, ‘what about a brother/sister for Erin’?

Prior to having Erin, our answer to question two was, “two”, “maybe three”…

Since Erin was about six months I have felt that perhaps three is the magic number, no, not three children, a family of three, Erin, Alex and I. Erin certainly hasn’t put me off having more, in fact, she’s the best daughter I could have hoped for, funny, laid back, loving, sociable and she shares my love (obsession?) of notebooks too, what more could a mother ask for?

Our family of three feels so right. Financially, a family of three is sensible, I have crohn’s and have been out of work off and on, I’m not eligible for any state support (I’m not complaining, that’s the way it is), so at times we have to survive on one wage.

In practical terms, we currently live in a two bedroom flat in Edinburgh, it would be impossible to afford a house at this stage, on one wage, plus I don’t want to commit myself to a full time job as soon as Erin is in school because I want to do a teaching degree, so we’ll be better off in the long term.

I value my personal time, and time for Alex and I to be a couple, perhaps it’s our age, we would be classed as younger parents, I’m 24 and Alex is 25, we definitely have plenty of life ambitions still to fulfill, for ourselves, and as a family.

No matter how great your kids are, there’s no doubt about it that motherhood is a strain, it’s tiring and it can be downright stressful, considering my health problems are triggered by stress and being run down, one child feels comfortable.

Sometimes I consider if my reasons are selfish, I suppose some of them are, but there’s no point in having more kids to prove how selfess I can be then stressing about how I will feed, clothe and sheter these children, that would be my responsibility and I wouldn’t expect my fellow citizens to pick up the tab, that type of pressure leads to stress, which for me results in illness. How can I be a good mother in a hospital bed?

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no standard amount of children that is right for every family. As much as people say it shouldn’t come down to economics, the economics of a situation directly impact on the emotions. I would need to make the decision with my head and my heart. Of course, sometimes ’surprises’ happen and if that were the case I would just accept it was meant to be :)

What about you, thinking of having anymore?