Teaching Table Manners (at a buffet restaurant)
We (Alex, Erin and I) went to a local buffet restaurant for lunch today. We go fairly regularly, about every six weeks or so, Erin loves it, she gets loads of attention from the staff as she has been going there since she was born.
Today I noticed how well Erin’s table manners were coming along, at sixteen months you can’t expect too much, here is a couple of things we do expect, and to be honest Erin rarely lets herself down – if you can even call it that at her age.
No shouting/screaming
She laughs loads but I don’t allow unnecessary levels of noise that disrupt other diners’ experience.
No smearing food or throwing it around
Obviously Erin eats predominantly with her fingers, that’s acceptable, however, dipping fingers in food and smearing it around is a no no, as is throwing it on the floor. I am still teaching her to say ta when she wants food taken away, she doesn’t like leftover food in front of her for too long.
I think this is very very basic stuff, she easily understands ‘the rules’ and hopefully this will be the beginnings of good table manners that she can rely on when she is at formal social gatherings as an adult. I find a buffet restaurant or indeed any kid friendly eaterie is a great way to introduce table manners outside of the home. On the few occasions we have taken Erin somewhere a bit more upmarket her behaviour has made me very proud and she always receives lots of compliments.
Hey, if you can’t be proud of your kids what can you be proud of! Is everyonelse working on table manners too?
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Above is me with my beloved Ernie in Port Aventura and left with our love child in Florida.
Themocracy
constantly! once I’ve honed the 45 year olds I’ll feel like I’ve really cracked this manners training business
It is important that you start young though, you are saving yourself a lot of trouble later by starting now and it’s lovely when you go out somewhere and a stranger walks up to your table to compliment your child for being so well mannered.
I don’t think children should be seen and not heard, but behaviour appropriate to the occasion and location is surely a must.
Oh don’t get me going about children who are old enough to know better acting like stroppy toddlers in restaurants! it drives me totally nuts, along with the theory that children’s menus must be burger and chips, sausage and chips or nuggets and chips with a side order of bean or spagetti. Mutter mumble stomp….
We have somehow managed to develop a sliding scale of manners dependant on situation here (so it’s okay to eat at a burger bar with your fingers but woe betide you if you do it anywhere with posh cutlery!) I’m sure I must sound terribly stuck up when I tell her “it’s not apropriate to do….” in certain places or whatever but she got the hang of apropriate fairly fast thank goodness!
I agree with you – not wishing to be pompous, but think we have a duty to teach our kids some manners! Not that I’ve got very far with my daughter… but that’s another story. It helps them far more than us. Completely with you on the no screaming rule – I won’t allow it either. My daughter’s dad is a softie who would let her away with anything – but I think if people are paying to have a treat, a meal out, they should be able to eat in peace.
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It’s been much easier to do this with our second (a girl) than with our first (a very active boy).
I’m still nagging them about eating with their mouths closed, not putting their elbows on the table, sitting up at the table rather than slumping at it, and using cutlery not fingers.
Our daughter was better when she was younger actually, I think it just becomes another way to annoy the parents when they’re older.
They’re OK at restaurants now – although son is fussy beyond belief and would rather go hungry than eat something he doesn’t like the look/smell of.
I got three kids, and it was not till the youngest was 3 that I thought we would be able to sit through a meal without some type of drama from the kids. Love the article!
Chad