Let Kids Set Their Own Pace in Life
Erin turned sixteen months yesterday, if she’d received a pound for every time someone asked me if she is walking yet she’d have a healthy car/mortgage deposit/uni fund by now.
Erin stood unaided for the first time today, she also walked for the first time with her push along toy, and refused to be spoon fed preferring to feed herself. Aaah my baby is growing up and I’m experiencing the same blend of pleasure, sorrow and pride that we (parents) feel every time a new skill is learned, independence is granted, and every time our babies take a step to toddlerdom, our toddlers become preschoolers, our preschoolers become independant ‘little people’, then teenagers, and so on…
Today it dawned on me that we don’t need to plan every detail of their progression, they will progress alone providing they have the environment to do so. My answer to the constant “is she walking yet?” question is always the same “she’ll walk when she’s ready” if I’m feeling particularly cheeky I’ll point out that there aren’t many grown adults still crawling on hands and knees, unless you include the inebriated clubbers on a friday night.
We clapped and whooped when she stood, and more when she walked with the push-a-long toy, and I allowed and encouraged the self feeding, I hope my lack of eagerness for her to learn to do everything sooner rather than later will result in her being more keen to learn and progress when she is older, without feeling the pressure of a ‘pushy parent’ shoving her along in every endeavour.
When she walks, it will be soon enough. When she talks, it will be soon enough. If she does her best in life, it will always be good enough. And, when she doesn’t do her best I hope I’ll be able to guide her.
I've been blogging for four years and write about anything and everything that takes my fancy.
Above is me with my beloved Ernie in Port Aventura and left with our love child in Florida.
Themocracy
Hear, hear. Couldn’t agree with you more, and well put. Congratulations on this milestone, by the way. What a clever girl. Must take after her mum! They grow up so fast anyway, who needs to put more pressure on them to do it even faster. I think the most important gift a mother can give her children is to accept them for who they are. Have to admit I sometimes fall short of this ideal, but that’s my goal, like yours.
Wow!! You said it! I didn’t learn this lesson very well until the potty training of my 3 year old. I now know that they will all, in their own time, learn these steps to growing up! Congrats on the big milestone… you are a good mom!
Great post, exactly right… now how do I get my lovely family to read this?
You know, I do agree with you 100% – too much pressure on kids generally.
But, that said, the questions about baby milestones are sometimes just conversational filler. Cos really? There’s not that much to say about an 11-month-old, especially if you’re not naturally a baby person.
I am most decidedly NOT a baby person but I have had so many awkward silences in rooms with friends and their babies where I know I’m expected to say something but the only thing in my head is “Gosh, it looks remarkably like every other baby I’ve ever seen”.
So in those cases, Does she walk? or is she smiling/rolling over/babbling/eating/sleeping through are just about trying to express an interest, I think.
Send them a link Pippa
that’ll sort them out.
Fair enough Sally, that’s true because I hate awkward silences, I think I was mostly having a dig at the competitive parenting and the compasrisons that are made between children, even when we all know their all different.