Inspiration for this group of articles (listed below) comes from Jack Canfield’s bestseller - How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I am taking the principles from the book and applying them to life as a parent.

The inspiration for this particular post was based on the book’s take on how to ask for things in general, as I’m focussing on the principles from a parent’s perspective it was easy to come up with what we need to ask for most - help.

When you’re a couple you look after yourself, and do your fair share (hopefully) of the housework. When you become a parent there’s another person to look after, sometimes one person reduces work commitments and before you know it your in a muddle over responsibilities, chores, and who’s earning the (most) income. Inevitably friction ensues and it takes some months to find your rhythm as a family. Well, that’s how it has played out for us anyway.

I have found myself needing to ask for help much more often, help from my husband, help from family and occasionally help from friends, not easy for someone who is fiercely independant.

The book provides some great pointers on how to ask for things, I’ve tailored them a little to suit us parents;

1. Ask with a positive expectation

If you are going to ask you may as well not be too apologetic for it. I’m pretty bad at this, I always feel guilty for asking, especially if it’s family or friends, I feel like I should be able to manage it all myself, of course it’s not possible.

2. Ask someone who you think can say “yes”

For example you may already know that one set of family members are busy at the weekend and quiet in the week, and the other side of the family are vice versa. Tailor your babysitting requests to fit with other people’s lifestyles where possible, you’re more likely to get a yes.

3. Be clear and specific

I used to feel that I was nagging my husband all the time to help with housework, he would counter by saying that he was helping. The problem was that I was being too vague with what I wanted him to do and the kind of help I needed. He was always saying that he was doing what was asked, which he was. When I asked him to take the rubbish to the bin he did, two days later, if I asked him to do some cleaning he would wash the dishes. Now I say things like “please take the rubbish out tonight before bed” and “please could you clean the floor in the kitchen, do the dishes and put a laundry in”. I ask for exactly what I want and if need be when I would like it done by, and 99% of the time I get it. I’m happy because I’m receiving help and the house is tidy, he’s happy because he isn’t being nagged at. Simple.

Feel free to add your own tips for asking for help…

Other Articles in the Series:

Compartmentalizing Time
Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting
Aim High
Get Organised
Be One Step Ahead
An Hour Of Powerful Parenting