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By Little Mummy, May 31, 2007 11:47 am

We enjoyed a fun and argument free holiday with family recently. Alex, Erin and I joined Alex’ parents for a five day break at centre parcs. The reaction I had from people when they found out I was holidaying with my in-laws ranged from surprise to shock, from sympathy (for me?) to downright trepidation.

I’ve always got on well with my in-laws but five solid days together…this was new, unknown territory. Could I possibly quell my need to organise everyone and everything, would I manage with very little ‘alone’ time, I value my alone time. Do the benefits of sharing your holiday outweigh the advantages of having a cosy holiday alone?

Pros

Extended family get to spend an intensive amount of time with grandchildren/neices/nephews which you never really achieve when you’re at home.

The ‘work’ part of childcare can be shared amongt more people, resulting in more of a break for you.

An endless supply of ultra safe and free babysitting, surely a big pro in the current climate.

The cost of a holiday can reduce dramatically, financially and environmentally. For example we shared a car and a log cabin.

You may find yourself with an improved relationship with extended family particularly in laws once you’ve spent some quality ‘away from the hum drum’ time with them.

Cons

Private time is considerably diminished.

If you don’t get on with the relations in question, everything could become a battleground.

Even the best of relations could be tested by intensive time together.

My Top Tips for a Fun and Argument Free Holiday

1. Don’t go if you can’t stand the sight of the people you are supposed to be going with.

2. Go somewhere that suits everyone, I found that an action packed holiday was good as we were always kept busy. Boredom can lead to arguments.

3. Be laid back, if you are usually the leader (which I usually am) remember that there may be another natural leader present (which there was), take a back seat and be prepared to go with the flow.

4. Give and take, be ready to compromise.

5. If you start to feel crowded take some time out, you don’t have to spend every waking moment together.

6. Don’t argue with your partner in front of the other guests, it makes for an awkward and embarassing atmosphere.

7. If you are the extended family, do not interfere with the family’s rules ie don’t be scared to help with child care but under no circumstances should you criticise the parents actions (publicly at least). That’s just asking for trouble.

8. Pack a sense of humour and a bit of patience and you should be fine!

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By Little Mummy, May 30, 2007 12:55 pm

We visited centre parcs at Sherwood Forest last year and Whinfell Forest this year. Erin was 7 months on our first trip and 15 months this time. Here is a run down of the activities that were suitable for her.

Swimming

The swimming is included in the price, there is a buggy park, and family changing – so far so good. Inside there are mini life jackets, inflatable toys and floats freely available to use. There is a very shallow round baby pool which Erin loved, the water barely met her waist so she was able to crawl, splash, play and towards the end of the break even started standing.

There is another pool which is a bit deeper with more toys a sprinkler and slide suitable for ages two to five.

There is a baby dolphins class on a couple of the days, the only downside being that it starts at 9.30am (perhaps this is a good thing for you!). You get the whole pool to yourself and I believe there is instruction on how to build baby’s confidence in the water (as you can tell I didn’t quite get organised early enough to attend).

Soft Play

There are a number of soft play areas around the park, in the various restaurants, the leisure bowl and the sports complex. All are free of charge, some are especially suitable for babies and toddlers – at whinfell forest the best one was in the leisure bowl where they also held parent and toddler mornings.

Beach

There is a man made beach beside the lake in both parks, so don’t forget your bucket and spade.

Walks

There are a number of walks and nature trails which are suitable for buggys.

As you would expect centre parcs is extremely baby/toddler/child friendly, there are plenty of baby changing areas, bottle warming facilities and buggy parks.

Comments (1)

By Little Mummy, May 29, 2007 9:21 am

We are into our second week of holidays, so far we’ve been to a gala day and a petting farm, we still have a wedding and who-knows-what-else still to come…

Carnival of SAHM’s is at Mom is Teaching – one of my regular reads, pop over and check it out, there’s some good stuff.

Make money blogging – if you are interested in covering the fees for your blog and making a little pocket money please consider joining Yaro’s blog mastermind programme, I have been reading his blog since I started blogging and recently began to make enough money to pay for hosting, domain names and a stack of books by simply implementing a few of his tips from the free newsletter.

The simple dollar has a really moving post about the choice between earning money and spending time with your kids.

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By Little Mummy, May 28, 2007 1:54 pm

It’s been a busy holiday and today was no exception. Gorgie Farm is one of those places you pass all the time and always say about going but never get around to it.

Well, today was different, our Edinburgh Under Fives book gave it a good write up, especially for younger children, so off we set – well actually it’s only about a ten minute drive away. The farm, being in the city centre, was more comprehensive than I had expected. The array of animals included hens, goats, sheep, a snake, ponies, pigs, birds, guinea pigs and rabbits. There was also a small play park with picnic area and a farm shop.

There was plenty to see and do, and on a warmer day we could have easily spent a couple of hours. Today was a little chilly so we introduced Erin to the animals and their respective noises, she really enjoyed it and started trying to make the noises herself, we left after about 45 minutes knowing we would definitely be back! Did I mention that admission was free (there is a donation box)!

Buy Used Copy of Edinburgh for Under Fives

Buy New Copy

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By Little Mummy, May 26, 2007 10:38 am

That’s us back from holiday – 5 days at Centre Parcs in the Lake District, great times, swimming, soft play, table tennis, ducks, laughs, barbecues…we had it all.

Today we went to a local gala, we had a hotdog and Erin got a balloon, I think all the excitement has been too much for her, she is spontaneously falling asleep at every available opportunity.

School with no playground – I would like to have seen the original source of this news, I can’t help but feel that there was more to the story and idea behind the ‘no playground’.

Universities need to develop entrepreneurs - another great article at instigator blog, I was recently complimented on having many a hair-brain scam, hair brain scams should be encouraged because you never know when you’ll hit on a good one!

Littlemummy Retro – How to Help Someone with Post-Natal Depression

Comments (7)

By Little Mummy, May 24, 2007 5:35 am

You may think these terms are only suitable for the workplace, but think about it for a moment.

If our home is our business, and we are the Managing Director, we either choose to micro-manage or delegate every day.

Micro-Managing

The micro-manager finds it difficult to relinquish control. When they occasionally delegate tasks they do so one by one, with specific instructions and will check back regularly to make sure the task is being performed to their high standards – if not, they may choose to do the task themselves, all-the-while muttering martyr-esque comments….

The pros of being a micro-manager

The job gets done exactly how you want it to get done.

The cons of being a micro-manager

Stress – It takes time to issue tasks one by one and check up regularly

Your kids/partner will feel that they can’t be trusted just to do the job.

You may end up with a complete boycott until you lower your exacting standards!!

Complete Delegation

The complete delegator will delegate tasks to the most appropriate person once, with instructions, and will leave that person to fulfill the task the way they see fit.

The pros of being a complete delegator

Each task needs only be delegated once, thus saving time.

Less stress, as you relax your standards and know that everything will get done, and you don’t have to do it all.

Your family will be more eager to help when they can do it on their own terms.

The cons of being a complete delegator

Tasks may not be completed the way you would do it.

Are you a micro-manager or a complete delegator?

(I’m an ex micro-manager seeing the light and advantages of being a complete delegator!)

Comments (2)

By Little Mummy, May 22, 2007 9:32 am

Inspiration for this group of articles (listed below) comes from Jack Canfield’s bestseller – How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I am taking the principles from the book and applying them to life as a parent.

Most of the time we get it right, inevitably there are times when we get it wrong. We lose our patience prematurely, fail to check all the facts, or simply make an error of judgement. How can we learn from those times and move on with minimal guilt?

1. Acknowledge you try your best

As parents we set ourselves high standards, and punish ourselves when we fail to reach the giddy heights of perfection. Acknowledging that you try your best helps keep the evil monster, guilt, at bay.

2. Acknowledge that your minor mistakes won’t ruin your kids’ life

Over-doing the discipline one time, punishing the wrong sibling, or making one bad call isn’t going to result in your kid hating you forever or going off the rails. In fact, it probably does them good to see us get it wrong and experience a little injustice, it won’t be the only time they experience it in life.

3. Learn from the experience

What did I do wrong, what can I do better next time.

5. Say sorry

Apologise if you made a mistake or got it wrong. Getting something wrong and saying sorry will teach our kids more than if we never made a mistake at all. Don’t try to hide the fact you got it wrong, I’m guilty of this sometimes, your kids will know that you got it wrong or over-reacted and will simply imitate you when they get it wrong.

6. Remind yourself that you are a good parent

Remember that most of the time you are a great parent, who makes good decisions.

How do you handle it when you get it wrong?

Other Articles in the Series:

Compartmentalizing Time
Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting
Aim High
Get Organised
Be One Step Ahead
An Hour of Powerful Parenting
How To Ask For Help
(This post is the final part)

Comments (3)

By Little Mummy, May 20, 2007 10:22 pm

Just a quick note to say that I’m off to the Lake District for a few days R&R, I have scheduled a couple of posts for the week, normal service will resume on Friday.

Have a good week.

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By Little Mummy, May 19, 2007 9:00 am

Inspiration for this group of articles (listed below) comes from Jack Canfield’s bestseller – How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I am taking the principles from the book and applying them to life as a parent.

The inspiration for this particular post was based on the book’s take on how to ask for things in general, as I’m focussing on the principles from a parent’s perspective it was easy to come up with what we need to ask for most – help.

When you’re a couple you look after yourself, and do your fair share (hopefully) of the housework. When you become a parent there’s another person to look after, sometimes one person reduces work commitments and before you know it your in a muddle over responsibilities, chores, and who’s earning the (most) income. Inevitably friction ensues and it takes some months to find your rhythm as a family. Well, that’s how it has played out for us anyway.

I have found myself needing to ask for help much more often, help from my husband, help from family and occasionally help from friends, not easy for someone who is fiercely independant.

The book provides some great pointers on how to ask for things, I’ve tailored them a little to suit us parents;

1. Ask with a positive expectation

If you are going to ask you may as well not be too apologetic for it. I’m pretty bad at this, I always feel guilty for asking, especially if it’s family or friends, I feel like I should be able to manage it all myself, of course it’s not possible.

2. Ask someone who you think can say “yes”

For example you may already know that one set of family members are busy at the weekend and quiet in the week, and the other side of the family are vice versa. Tailor your babysitting requests to fit with other people’s lifestyles where possible, you’re more likely to get a yes.

3. Be clear and specific

I used to feel that I was nagging my husband all the time to help with housework, he would counter by saying that he was helping. The problem was that I was being too vague with what I wanted him to do and the kind of help I needed. He was always saying that he was doing what was asked, which he was. When I asked him to take the rubbish to the bin he did, two days later, if I asked him to do some cleaning he would wash the dishes. Now I say things like “please take the rubbish out tonight before bed” and “please could you clean the floor in the kitchen, do the dishes and put a laundry in”. I ask for exactly what I want and if need be when I would like it done by, and 99% of the time I get it. I’m happy because I’m receiving help and the house is tidy, he’s happy because he isn’t being nagged at. Simple.

Feel free to add your own tips for asking for help…

Other Articles in the Series:

Compartmentalizing Time
Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting
Aim High
Get Organised
Be One Step Ahead
An Hour Of Powerful Parenting

Comments (2)

By Little Mummy, May 18, 2007 5:11 am

Inspiration for this group of articles (listed below) comes from Jack Canfield’s bestseller – How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. I am taking the principles from the book and applying them to life as a parent.

Azam Jamil, a prominent speaker in Canada, recommends what he calls the “the Hour of Power” – 20 minutes of visualisation and meditation, 20 minutes of exercise and 20 minutes of reading inspirational or informational books. Imagine what would happen to your life if you did this everyday.

This made me think, what if we applied a similar idea to parenting. An hour of powerful parenting. Perhaps twenty minutes spent on imaginitive play, a twenty minute walk and talk, and twenty minutes reading time. If we even spent an hour a day solely focussing on them what kind of impact would that have…

What would you include in your hour of powerful parenting?

Other Articles in the Series:

Compartmentalizing Time
Remember Your Purpose Outside of Parenting
Aim High
Get Organised
Be One Step Ahead