How Motherhood Has Helped Me Grow
Two years ago I was working as a nursery assistant earning very close to the minimum wage, I had job-hopped my way through almost eight years of my life working mostly in offices. After trying several different careers I was still no closer to deciding what I wanted to ‘do’.
For five years I had suffered in varying degrees with Crohn’s Disease, I was worried that if we waited too long to have a baby something awful might happen that would render me infertile, for Alex and I, a life without kids was pretty much unthinkable, we have always wanted at least one child, so, ten months after we married we decided to go for it.
I finished up work in November 2006 to begin an undecided length of maternity leave.
16 months later and I barely feel like the same person. The changes in me are more than I could have expected and not just the direct changes that motherhood brings.
I have learned so much from a combination of motherhood, ‘think time’, blogging, books etc… I know now that I was low on confidence, I’d had a few bad job experiences that were eating away at me and ensuring that I never felt good enough as an employee no matter what I did. My career choices haven’t matched up with my strengths or even my preferences, this was leaving me feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Over the last 16 months I’ve had a series of epiphanies and at times it has felt like a journey of self enlightenment as well as the parenting journey I originally embarked on.
I am quite entrepreneurial. I am ambitious. My ultimate dream requires me to earn (and save!) quite a bit of money . My career must align with my morals and be a constant challenge.
Over the past couple of months I have made moves to put my own life and career on the right path.
How has motherhood helped me grow? It has taught me that nothing good is ever easy, in fact, it is very very hard. The principles I apply to parenting can be applied quite nicely to my future career. When you choose to aim your goals at the highest level there is no such thing as failure, there is only not being perfect. I’m content with not being perfect.
My fear of failure has, up until now, has led me to jobs that are well within my capabilities but even at those I haven’t performed that well because I always thought I was going to do badly, and therefore, aways did or at least always felt I did. I also became easily bored and disillusioned once I had mastered something and couldn’t bare merely achieving the same thing over and over again.
I have decided to step right outside my comfort zone, and it’s liberating. I’m not so concerned with seeking other’s approval as I have always done. I’m following my dream and if everyone things I’m being silly or overly ambitious then so be it. I don’t want to reach old age and look back with regret, I’m just not satisfied taking the easy and perhaps ‘responsible’ road, and unhappy parents lead to unhappy kids. I want Erin to look to both her parents and see people who tried really really hard to reach their potential.
I have entered this post into Scribbit’s Write-Away Contest – wish me luck 
I've been blogging for four years and write about anything and everything that takes my fancy.
Above is me with my beloved Ernie in Port Aventura and left with our love child in Florida.
Themocracy
What a lovely post–and I agree with your thoughts, there’s nothing that has helped me to grow more than motherhood, unless perhaps it’s marriage!
Thanks for the entry and link, good luck.
good luck with the contest and with following your dreams
Thanks both, it’s not easy being so publicly honest haha
Great post Erica, very insightful!
How brave of you to be so open
I think motherhood changes you forever in unexpected (but good) ways.
Go ahead and follow your heart. The only way you will live your dream is to try, try and try again.
Best of luck.
Thanks and good luck with the baby
I think this is a wonderfully articulate essay, Erica. I’ve been reading your posts since Dave set this website up for you, and even in that short amount of time it is easy to trace the trajectory of your personal growth.
I can’t wait to meet all three of you next month! 
Best of luck with the competition.
Love the picture — love your entry. There really is no way we can predict how much Motherhood transforms us.
Valerie – Thanks for the comment and for reading
We, too are looking forward to next month – Have a good journey.
I’ll be linking to this post later as it is F-A-B. Good on you. I have a similar experience I think and have written about this before, now I’ll have to dig it out, I think. All the very best to you and yours.
I found you through Scribbit’s contest. It is so thoughtfully written and has such a happy ending! Or is it a happy beginning?
[...] Over the last few months I have begun to identify strengths and weaknesses which I used to make decisions, like the decision to go back to education and re-train. Setting Goals [...]
Great posting. Has made me think about how becoming a mum has changed my thinking too.