Out of interest I did a search on the definition of the word ‘normal’.
The definition was ‘common’. The synonyms included ‘average’, ‘commonplace’, ‘general’, ‘ordinary’, ‘run-of-the-mill’, ‘standard’, ‘typical’ and ‘usual’.
Doesn’t sound that great does it. Being normal. So why does everyone want to be normal?
Social conditioning, familial and community acceptance.
Ok so we all want to be normal for good reasons but what is normal? Is your normal the same as my normal? Not everyone’s normal can possibly be the same because surely being normal is being and doing what is right…
‘There is no right than is more right than your right’ Neil Crofts
Now, then, we are not looking to find what is ‘normal’ but what is right…..for ourselves, and, of course our family.
What is right for me;
I have made a list. At the top will be what is most important down to what is less important (but still important) at the bottom. Erin is at the top over my husband only because she is more dependant on me.
Erin (her happiness and health)
My Husband (his happiness and health)
My Health (my happiness is Erin’s and Alex’ happiness and health – already on the list)
My Home (house and location)
* I have not included the rest of our family in this, of course they are very important to us all but I did not think it right to include them as I can’t be responsible for their happiness.
So if what is ‘right’ = happiness
The Happy Formula
Then happiness = Erin + My Husband +My Health + My Home+ Hobbies (being at optimum levels for supreme happiness)
Erin – In my mind (and my husband’s), will be most healthy and happy when she is loved and cared for by a family member, ideally me.
Therefore I must make looking after her my full time job (so to speak).
My Husband – He is happy when we (Erin and I) are happy, doing a job he enjoys and pursuing hobbies. Oh yes and he would also like a house with a drive to stop the car getting wrecked!
Therefore he must do a job he enjoys and I must make sure there is time for him to pursue hobbies outside work time.
My Health – I have Crohn’s Disease so this one can be particularly difficult. Smoking and stress are the main triggers.
Therefore I have given up smoking (over a year ago) and not working and rushing about means lower stress levels.
My Home – We would like to live in a more family friendly location, preferably in a house with a garden.
Therefore we need to earn enough money for this, so I have been working on a few projects from home and my husband makes sure that he is earning as much as he can whilst still doing a job he enjoys (because this is higher on the list than our home).
Hobbies -Alex’ hobbies, my hobbies, and doing activities that Erin enjoys.
Therefore to pursue hobbies you need time, so at least two days a week should be left free (providing monetarally we can afford to pay for essentials, house, food and bills).
Still with me?
So for my happiness; I must look after Erin, being a full-time mum. I must take care of as much of the home affairs as possible so that Alex can pursue hobbies outside of work (as much as is possible with a baby!). I should continue not to smoke and try and find work that I can do at home. We should keep at least two days free where possible to be a family and pursue hobbies.
That is what we should do, that is what we do, and that is why (for the most) we are happy.
This is not gloating, anyone can do this and work out what will make them happy and what is right for them. You might be surprised at how low money and material objects come on your list, and, if they are at the top, then you know what you have to do. Be a corporate slave and earn that cash. Good Luck.
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